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            Dear Ms. Feingold,

            I know a soul sistah like y’all gonna enjoy the full-color, signed photo o me an my fambly enjoyin pork ribs. Mmmm, love them ribs! I wouldn send this here photo t’ whitey, they’s gettin a different photo altogether!

            But the miracle o micro-targeting keepin it jus between us sistahs, I thinkin y’all like this downhome’un. We black folk gotta hang together, cause nobody gonna take care o us but us!

            Now Rose, reason I writin is cause o my man, course, he need our help. Unlike that white boy Mickey Rodney who only care bout hisself, my fambly and I care bout the entire country! No matter our ages, backgrounds or stations in life, we want the country t’ do well an reelect mah husband! We CARE about this great nation! Sho nuff! Did I mention challenges? So how bout that vote, honey?????

            Mah husband know wha it be fo a fambly t’ struggle. He got a compelling fambly history. What with his momma bein a hippie an all. Y’all read bout it in his books. (Y’all pays retail, we preciate that! We be rich.) As a father, mah husband don’ want no limitations on his daughters: They grows up an be presidents. Tha’s the goal. Yeah, mah husband, he want it all!  

            Rose, I enclose a plastic card what says how my Blackie done in the last three years. Rose, people always askin: What y’all been doin? Well, here tis! From the first moment he enter the White House on Day 1, mah husband…

             He save Goldman Sachs, Citigroup, JPMorgan Chase an a passel o other brokerage firms on Wall Street. He save Bank o America, AIG an some other too-big-to-fail institutions.

             He end America’s military involvement an brought the troops home from Mali!

             He kill Osama bin Lahtis.

             He expand health care, implement economic recovery, create 3 million jobs at a time when this great country of ours only lost 6 million.

             Yes, Rose, he a man— an all men is swine— but thanks to Girrl Power, the question be: Does we go forward an do a whole lot mo promises or do we go back t’ them Republicans an they’s do-nothin ways?

             Y’all choose.

             Husband can’t do it alone, Rose, ah askin fo a donation! Y’all give us $25, $50 or $100, we can make a whole lot mo promises! Tha’s what we do as Americans!  We promise

• Equal Pay for Equal Work
• Improving Women’s Health
• Protecting Women’s Right to Choose
• Ending Insurance Company Abuses
• Keeping Premiums Low
• Expanding Access to Care
• Closing the Medicare Prescription Drug “Donut Hole”
• Job Creation (again)
• Save the auto industry from collapse (again!)
• Create nearly 3 million jobs in the private sector (AGAIN!)
• Out-Educate the Rest of the World
• Out-Innovate the Rest of the World
• Level the Playing Field
• Make Everyone Do Their Fare Share
• Remain Focused on Iraq
• Remain Focused on Iran
• Remain Focused on al-Qaeda
• Remain Focused on the economy
• Remain Focused on Israel
• Remain Focused on the Taliban
• Remain Focused on Veterans an Their Famblies
• Remain Focused on getting reelected!

              So y’all see, Rose, there still be a whole lot t’ do! I ain sayin we gits it all done on Day 1. I ain sayin we gits it all done in the first week— or the first month— or even the first year of a second term. I simply sayin, Y’ALL DON’T REELECT US, WE CAN’T DO NONE O THIS STUFF!

              Tha’s all!

              So what you say, Rose? Y’all send us some money, we gonna use it t’ win!

                               From mah fambly t’ your’n!

                               First Lady Madeleine Diamond

                                                         *

                                              –  from the upcoming novel