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            Superman had a bad night in Denver.

            Romney had been accused of never coming with concrete proposals, so straight out of the gate, he listed his FIVE POINT PROGRAM for righting the economy. And unlike Perry, Romney remembered all five! He then let the cat out of the bag, by asking the president to explain his “trickle down” policy. Jim Lehrer, the moderator, picked up on that and also asked the president to elucidate on his “trickle down” approach.

            “Finally!” I thought. Clarity. Why did the president bail out the Wall Street brokerage houses and the fucking banks??? They aren’t American industry, they are Capital. We consumers are still waiting to see the benefit of this approach.

            And the president, one-trick pony, went into his smokescreen mode and started blabbing about what he wanted to tell us, totaling ignoring the question.

            Things went downhill from there.  

            Al Gore, who has an entire channel on cable — forget a single program, like Oprah, Gore has his own channel, “Current TV” — suggested that the altitude in the Mile High City was getting to the president.

           The liberal press explained away this lack of progress in a hundred different ways.

           The Prez lost points in the polls. Romney’s on the rise.

           So the V.P. candidates face off. Grinning, grinning, grinning, Biden’s malicious grin is enough to make me want to punch his veneers down his throat! It turns out Biden and Alvin the Chipmunk have confronted one another endlessly in committee rooms in the Capitol, so we’re watching two professionals. Ryan is serious and sincere. Biden is fully-informed, hectoring, pompous and lecturing. And he’s good at it! He faces the camera and says, “You seniors there at home, you judge for yourself whether you want to pay more for health insurance!”

            Ever since Richard Nixon, we’ve watched the Veep function as cheerleader and hatchet man for the sitting administration. Pom-poms clearly in evidence, Biden tells us that the economy is on the rise, unemployment is plummeting, America has never been stronger internationally, our allies are all agog, our enemies are running away, this is our moment and WE’RE LIVING IN PARADISE!

            It makes me wonder what is wrong with me. I thought we were in a major recession and everything was all screwed up!!!

            Despite Ryan’s counsel, Biden —  being Biden — announces to the World that the Taliban can take a year off, a sabbatical, because THE U.S.A. IS LEAVING AFGHANISTAN IN 2014, period. Yoo-hoo, Mr. T! Then you can march in and take over! Unfortunately, Kabul is like Saigon in 1975: an extremely weak government that will totally collapse as soon as the last American soldier choppers out.

            The lady moderator — herself a correspondent specializing in Afghanistan — points out two or three times that 50 “green on blue” murders have taken place this year. Half against Americans. Twenty-five of our people killed by our erstwhile allies in the Afghan Army. You would think that this is indicative of a problem in Afghan culture worth discussing, but the candidates cold-heartedly express their regrets and push on with their own agendas.

            Interesting! We’re in a “None of the Above” election year.

                                                     Update: Round Three, Tuesday, October 13, 2012

            President Obama is clearly the lead actor. Mitt Romney— and Candy Crowley of CNN, the moderator— have supporting roles. Obama dominates the stage, hands down.

            He’s running as the challenger: All fired up, left hand waving hypnotically, The Man has a vision for America!

            I, too, end up thinking: “Yes! Let’s throw out that bum in the White House and elect Obama!!!”

            Um, wait a minute… I thought Obama was the incumbent???

            Attack dog Obama seems unpresidential, but no one notices. This is a bare-knuckles street fight worse than anything on WWF. The one who best rips his opponent to shreds— using his teeth— wins the applause of the crowd in the Coliseum. At any moment, I expect them to unleash lions into the arena to finish off these stalwart gladiators.

            Après the debate,in the moment before the screen becomes a mob scene, the camera catches the real Barack Hussein Obama: Little Barry grins from ear to ear, looking like Alfred E. Neuman, all of eight years old, America’s first child president. Oh, boy! Oh, goody! Look at me, everybody! I won!

            Romney, bless his heart, wants to make America energy independent! If elected, he will turn the entire country into a single, giant oil field. We’ll have oil pumps running in our backyards. Solar and wind don’t interest Romney so much. He’s a bigger “oil man” than George W. Bush.

            At least he’s honest about it.

            These families— the Obamas, the Bidens, the Romneys— are America’s political elite. Both physically attractive and intellectually brilliant, you would think they could solve the country’s problems one-two-three.

            God goofed. Mankind is a faulty creation.

                                                  Update: The Final Round, Monday, October 22, 2012

            Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

            While the liberal press applauds Obama for an aggressive performance against the waffling, wishy-washy, namby-pamby Mitt Romney, I felt the split screen HD close-ups on ABC showed me more Barack Obama than I wanted to see.

            Yeah, Romney’s upper lip got sweaty and there was that single damn hair out of place, hanging down his forehead like a cowlick, but he looked good.

            I thought rubber-necked Obama looked and acted like a viper who’d sucked on a lemon.

           My mom has a different take.

           When Romney lays on the bromides about America standing strong in the world, his support of the business community, his love for the middle class and his ability to work with a Democratic Congress, mom is shouting at CBS’s Bob Schieffer, “You’re the moderator! Shut him up!”

           When Obama pours on the empathy— pul-lease— about little girls at Ground Zero, his consoling wounded veterans and his abiding love of all mankind, I have to leave the room to keep from losing my dinner.

            Those of us rooting for the boxer in stripes have nothing over those rooting for the boxer in plaid. I thought it was a draw.

            Onward to Election Day.

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