yustyoking

 

Russia’s clever cyber warfare

Gave America a chump

When we elected as president

Ronald T. Grump.

 

If he hears something he dislikes

Out on the stump,

“FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS!”

Cries President Grump.

 

At rally after rally, Grump promised

A big, beautiful wall.

“And Mexico will pay for it,” he told us.

“They’ll pay for it all.”

 

At twenty pesos to the dollar,

Even if they build slow,

The Mexicans got no money

To pay for Grump’s dildo.

 

Every morning Grump tweets.

He’s really quite wild.

Spewing venom and acrimony,

He sounds like a child:

 

“I’m closing down the Government in time for Christmas

Unless Congress funds my Wall. I don’t care what you say.

Let those Losers in Washington suck it up,

Thirty Billion for the Wall or I just walk away.”

 

“I would be proud

To shut the government down,”

Says Ronald T. Grump

And looks like a clown.

 

They say Grump hates Christmas

Because it’s not about him,

But some Middle Eastern Jesus freak.

Cutting workers’ pay, Ebenezer, seems unusually grim.

 

In the true spirit of a Grinch, Grumpf declares

Tariffs on toys and tariffs on cars.

At times like this we miss “Crooked Hillary”

Since women are from Venus and men are from Mars.

 

Grump sends out a tweet,

An isolationist screed,

Denying sanctuary or asylum

To any in need:

 

“A shutdown will last

For a very long time,

Because people don’t want

Open Borders and Crime….

 

….. No Milk & Cookies pls,

I find your Chimneys uninviting.

Only Melania’s Red Christmas Trees.

My Chief of Staff and I are still fighting.”

 

As a quarter of the gov grinds to a halt

The president claims it’s the Democrats’ fault.

Furloughs might mean working without pay

And less money for presents, to families’ dismay!

 

“Screw it, I’m not gonna do it” says Grump,

But when Fox Newsies complain,

He changes his tune,

Although accepting no blame.

 

Like Humpty Dumpty, President Grump

Sits with a mighty fine scowl.

While Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham and even Rush Limbaugh

Scream “What a sell-out!” and howl.

 

Having fooled everyone,

Grump is one clever fellow,

’Though he acts like a scaredy-cat:

Like his hair, totally yellow.

 

Standing next to Putin, Erdogan or Macron,

Some might think he’s a baboon.

When leaders call Ronnie’s bluff,

He deflates like a balloon.

 

His foreign policy stumbling

Is truly quite willy-nilly.

In the end, he just makes

America look really silly.

 

The art of the con, the art of the show,

He’s never quite satisfied with whatever he gets.

Very tall buildings, while Viagra for the libido,

Grumpy’s a little tyke playing with Erector Sets.

 

As investigations close in on every front,

“WITCH HUNT! WITCH HUNT!

WITCH HUNT!”

Tweets Ronald T. Grump.

 

Steel Slats, a reggae band from the Caribbean

Plays smooth music as sweetly as they can.

Hearing “Coco Nuts,” their first album,

Even the president has become a huge fan.

 

Amidst the day’s news,

White House ranting and bluster,

Press Secretary Hamburger Sandwich says Grump

Wants a GOP filibuster.

 

It’s another #Grumpshutdown,

A God-awful sight.

But Merry Christmas to all

And to all a good night.