Bad Boys of Rap?
Who in their wildest dreams would classify the Swedish rap duo realPfft among the Bad Boys of the political universe? For four years, Clive Flatenbad and Mutte Fjutt in Uppsala, Sweden have cranked out political satire, with only occasional complaints regarding their lude cover art. Never their lyrics. Squeaky clean Swedes, they avoid gangsta rap. They don’t do divisiveness or profanity. How did they end up with a breakout song, God Bless America, that has explicit lyrics???
“Speak softly and carry a big stick,” said Teddy Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States. So Clive wrote the lyric “Speak loudly and unzip a big stick.”
What’s with the unzip, Clive? What were you thinking?
“I meant unzipping a sports bag and pulling out a baseball bat,” the boy mansplains.
Now he tells us!
“We used ‘fuh’ instead of the four-letter original,” bleats Clive, as if avoiding one sin will cancel out the other.
Once you start looking for foul language and smutty innuendo, the lyrics take on a very questionable pallor, at best.
God Bless America
Rude, crude, what’s up, dude?
It’s a celebration of one great nation
Grievance, complaint, we know… what you ain’t
Gas light, firelight, buckle up and join the fight
Ain’t no stubble, trouble in the bubble
Woken, broken, life’s a subway token
Eatin’ potato fries under leaden skies
When the air turns mean, wipe the plate… clean
Where o’ where? Trump’s supporters be out there
Waitin’, hatin’, anticipatin’
Try as you will, try as you might, we can’t make it right
Speak loudly and unzip a big stick
Gettin’ up on tippy toes, Biden can’t see beyond his own nose
79-year-old Joe, that’s what makes it so dope
Stumble in da White House, we ain’t goin’ t’ war over… no… Ukraine
Putin and Xi, dey smell blood in da water
Whassup? Who gives a fuh? Momma’s got a brand new bag
When did Chinese checkers and Russian roultette become Olympic sports?
Corona, Delta, Omicron… the pandemic is systemic
Mask mandates, while anti-vaxxers give the finger to the CDC
What d’ya mean, Fao Chi is secretly Chinese?
Get real! Don’t sneeze, don’t cough, freeze yer butt off
No worries, our band be big… in Hercegovina
What d’ we know? Hookers and blow
Don’t blow yer brains out, blow yer nose
Sucking acidophilus
Eatin’ gluten free. Peace & love sounds good t’ me
Who do you think you are, Elephant boy?
Preaching to the choir, you bitch to the sky
You claim you’re a victim of a Deep State conspiracy
Voter fraud and foreign manipulation
Self-righteous indignation and phony baloney
Sore loser and spoilsport, thy name be… Grump
Grump’s as real as a three-dollar bill
Shady deals and never-ending promises
A Nude Yorker, if you like his shtick, I have a great
Bridge to Brooklyn that I can sell you
Cryptocurrencies and crypto fascists
Grump wants to pardon the insurrectionists
Well, pardon me! Watch my butt glow in da dark
Conspiracy theories… liars… in a fictional world
Hear that? Trum trum, trum trum… that’s Trump!
Tearing up paper & givin’ folks the hairy eyeball
Where you gonna go, Hugo, when Trump gets re-elected?
Grand Master Frump, he ’s mad, too bad, he insists he got robbed
He writes nasty comments in his photo album coffee book
Calling the free press “the enemy of the people” is one underhanded slur
Republicans, who can do no wrong. Mixed-up Democrats
Demonstrating how NOT to run a government
Hark! Let’s consider all that’s wrong in America
Daylight Savings Time, the border with Canada
Income tax, the federal census, gerrymandering
Renaming the Washington Monument and Jefferson Memorial, as they both owned slaves
Tic tac toe, sugary soft drinks, Charlie horses and statewide nerds
A new Olympic record: the fastest sea level rise in 3,000 years
Indoor plumbing, surveillance cameras and surveillance drones
Worker bees and office managers. Error notices and thumb drives
Internal combustion engines. Global warming and weather reports
Rightwing retorts. Hot flashes, panic attacks and man-made lint
Newspapers and liberal sketch artists. Networks
Disinformation… Partisanship… bi-partisanship. One-time acquaintances
Undertakers rejoice! A million extra deaths due to Covid
Whatever happened to purple mountains majesty above the fruited plain?
Drought? Someone set the planet on “bake” and left the stove on overnight
American retro: The resurrection of pay phones and pay toilets, the poll tax
Prayer in schools and… the draft
José, can you see by the dawn’s early light? Rio Grandé
Let’s not throw out the baby with the bathwater
Make January 6th a national holiday & God… bless… America!
© & ℗ 2022 Panther Songs
Trampa i klaveret. Step in dog poo. Trying to follow in the footsteps of Vanilla Ice, realPfft has ended up instead in the ghetto of bad language, explicit lyrics and parental advisories. Scandalous! Have foot, will shoot self in same. Tighten up, boys! Oops, there we go again with the shady innuendo.
Here’s the link to the song:
yustyoking 
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