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 Now that Hillary Clinton has attended retiring Senator Tom Harkin’s 37^th and last steak fry out in Iowa, I need to get my ducks in a row if I’m going to be ready for 2016.

Hollywood news flash: Hillary may pitch the screenplay to “Guardians of Gridlock” before the year is out.

My creds: Never having graced the halls of power— uniformed guards don’t let dudes like me wander past the velvet rope— I am untarnished by any semblance of corruption. Not that I haven’t tried, of course.

I’m so liberal I make myself sick, I’m so liberal! More liberal than cheese dip. More liberal than Elizabeth Warren. Liberal.

Any vets or Army brats who so desire can form a SuperPAC “Ready for Kevin.” I can string you along just as well as Hillary does with her SuperPAC, y’know? Who dat runnin’ fo’ what?! I ain’t said nothin’.

Ready for Kevin, y’all? I know I am!

This post sponsored by “Kevin Feingold for President,” a committee of one.

Note: I haven’t said president of what, right? I’m keeping my options open.