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Trump Found Guilty

THE HVAC TECH GUY, A DEMOCRAT, CAUSED BRAIN FREEZE!!!

We Swedes know from cold. At certain low temperatures, the human brain enters the “grossly annoyed” zone, seeing everything in a negative light. A classic example of this annoyance principle was on display for all to see in the courtroom behavior of “Palsy Walsy” and the 11 other members of the jury who passed judgment on our Glorious Leader in a Manhattan courtroom this week. The courtroom was freezing! Ergo, they voted to convict.

Even Trump complained of the cold and all he had to do was sit still and shiver.

They say Trump got a “Jury of his Peers.” Takes one to know one. How could they possibly be a Jury of his Peers unless they, too, were real estate moguls or convicted felons? Blatantly inappropriate jury selection.

Palsy Walsy and his crew should be hung by their bootstraps and given 34 lashes with a wet noodle, one for each of the indictments against our Glorious Saint and One True Leader.

Guilty on 34 counts of falsifying business records?! C’mon, man, why didn’t the jurors let Trump off the hook on at least one or two counts? In the name of Fair Play and Common Decency. Shame on them! They hurt President Trump’s feelings. After all, this is Donald Trump, who has used the judicial process in 4,000 legal cases as a cudgel to hammer his opponents. Real estate lawsuits. Business disputes. Unpaid bills. Suing people for defamation. We’re talking the Donald Trump who until now has had the Golden Touch and always gotten away with stuff.

Let he who has not sinned be the first to get stoned out of his gourd. Like Jesus on the Cross, the craven mob has pounded Nails of Iniquity into the flabby flesh of a former president, while the Pontius Pilot of Public Opinion has left the rest of us thirsting for Equality Under the Law.

I agree with President Biden, “It’s time for this war to end.” We should make peace with Donald J. Trump and the Trump loyalists who have tunneled their way into the bedrock of American democracy. We need a permanent cease-fire in the constant sniping with the Republicans. So their candidate for president is a convicted felon? So what?! Where do we go from here? This is America, world leader in marketing. Let us declare hydroxychloroquine the National Beverage and get on with paying taxes, voting in elections and taking out the garbage. Anything less is unAmerican. Maybe Bolivian.  

Oh, wait! Biden was referring to the war between Israel and the Palestinians. My bad.

As the DJ Trump campaign tells us, Trump is a Martyr excoriated by the salivating minions of a Lesser God. Never have so many owed a 25% gratuity to so few. TAKE HEED! More than one weighty political screed has been penned in the clammy, cloying confines of a prison cell. This is not the Beginning of the End, this is the End of the Beginning. The team of El Trumpo has not yet appealed this decision. Only time will tell, while the Air Aid Siren of Life keeps us informed of our Appointment with Destiny. As it says on the American nickel, “In God We Trust.” Fool me once, America, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!