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Presidential Disclaimer

November 20, 2020

I never really knew Donald John Trump. I don’t know who that is. I mean, sure, he’s President of the United States and all that, but it’s not like he and I were ever friends. He has his people and I have my people. It’s not like I can tell you what he eats for breakfast. I can’t. Tell you. I have always kept any contact one step or two steps removed. At best. I try to avoid getting sucked into his social circle, you know? Not my kind of folks, a little too aggressive, a little too whiny, aggrieved and egocentric. Unpleasant, if you will.

“Little Donnie” I call him. That’s what I call him, “Little Donnie.” It’s kind of a pet name for someone who on many occasions seems to exhibit childlike behavior. There’s a certain amount of affection in the name, I suppose, but also aggravation. He disappoints me with his temper tantrums, his sulks, his bullying behavior and his boorish rule-breaking. Emotionally, he’s a bull in a china shop. At the end of his presidency, we find a playpen full of broken pottery.

He showed great promise when he was younger, but at the end of the day, he’s a disappointment. What did they say about Nixon? He was brilliant at turning victory into defeat. Little Donnie shows some of that tendency. He gets so wrapped up in the drama of the moment, he takes his eyes off the ball. He spends a lot of time hacking away in the sand traps of life.  Also, he exhibits very unethical attitudes.     

Like most people, I have made it a point in my life to steer well clear of indictable offenses. Life is too short and who wants to spend time in prison? Although the coronavirus has put most of us in self-imposed house arrest, I grant you. Not fun. Legal jeopardy, however, positively looms over DJ Trump like a sooty cloud of acid rain. I mean, there’s a dude with a snout like a pig who is involved in some very shady, controversial behavior. In other words, AVOID.

Remember the upstart who used to act out in the classroom in third grade? That’s Donnie. A drama queen, the more outrageous his behavior, the more his supporters love him. Reality TV writ large, there’s a lot of emotion on everyone’s sleeve. His is a pressure cooker world and El Trumpo keeps turning up the heat.

As you know, I have my contacts in the government. Washington is such a chatty town, you can hardly avoid meeting people, but unlike the demonstrators, I don’t spend a lot of time in Lafayette Square or crowding the White House fence. I don’t have time for that and I certainly don’t want to have my picture taken. Half of what I do is based on discretion. Why flush that down the toilet for a few minutes of gratuitous anger over Little Donnie’s latest shenanigans? If I’m going to be angry over the president or his administration, I do it at home. I don’t even give out information over the phone, so the last thing I am going to do is get in an argument in public. You end up like that high school kid who got ambushed by a native American, a self-described activist with bad teeth, banging on a drum. The kid wasn’t even doing anything, just hanging out with his high school class, and he got videoed, photographed and hung out to dry on social media. Don’t put yourself in situations that can generate bad karma.

I am active on Twitter, but I do it on my terms. Considering the volume of bile the president belches on Twitter, I am often inclined to become a follower of @realDonaldTrump. To get the full firehose effect of raw sewage, straight from the source. But once you join that world, I discovered, your Twitter feed gets bombarded by opinionated nutjobs with plenty of axes to grind. Who needs that? Ann Coulter and I share an adversarial Twitterverse, but Kellyanne Conway and Kayleigh McEnany are not individuals with whom I desire interaction, thank you very much!

It’s a funny business, having retired from the military and finding myself living a shadow existence. This is not where I would have put myself if queried even ten years ago. Mainly, my daily effort goes into taking care of my elderly mom. It’s the least a dutiful son can do. Flacking for a Swedish rap band, writing and all my other creative endeavors are the little pleasures that keep me from going totally bonkers. Sure, I daydream of a position in the Biden White House, but it’s not like I am lifting the phone or posting my résumé. We’ll have to see how the next few years play out. I figure that if Sebastian Gorka could get a job in the White House, anybody can.

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Morning in America

November 10, 2020

It’s Monday in America and Pfizer has announced testing a vaccine that appears to be more than 90% effective.

President-Elect Joseph R. Biden has also held a press conference outlining his plan to defeat the coronavirus responsible for Covid-19. Let’s unpack that a little:

The first myth blown to smithereens is that Joe Biden is senile. The oldest candidate ever elected president, this has been an on-going concern during the campaign. Donald John Trump fanned these flames by claiming that his opponent has secret health issues, just as he did with Hillary in 2016. A clever mode of attack, people are saying that this implies that he, too—Donald John Trump himself— has secret health issues. Who knows? The health issue ploy stinks to high heaven. The Joe Biden who spoke today from the rostrum, however, was definitely compos mentis and playing with a full deck.

The second myth gone to Dodoland is that Joe Biden can’t open his mouth without putting his foot therein. You know, I’ve been waiting since the debates for the caricature of a gaffe-prone Joe Biden to take center stage. Instead, he sounds just like everybody else. He seems to know what he wants to say. Pundits and political analysts point out that one of the reasons Trump had such difficulty trying to defeat Biden in debate was the fact that Joe seems to have his act together.

The third myth which I hope we can now retire is that either Bernie Sanders or nefarious AOC, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, is lurking behind the curtain, stage whispering Joe’s lines to him like a prompter in the theater. Joe is a big boy now and doesn’t need help from anyone to say his lines.

The fourth myth is that Joseph R. Biden is hostage to the left wing of his party, a coterie of wild-eyed, bomb-throwing socialists who will deprive red-blooded Americans of their last few freedoms. My crystal ball is a little cloudy regarding the month of February 2021, but so far Biden seems to be acting like a centrist president-elect who is concerned with representing all the people. A unifier, he may not serve juicy red meat in his speeches like his predecessor does, but it’s a breath of fresh air to have a chief executive focused on solving problems rather than creating them.

I am sympathetic to the Trump administration’s arguments regarding mail-in ballots. Without DNA testing, how are we to know that you are really… you know… YOU. For all anyone knows, you may be like that character in the Schwarzenegger movie, secretly a clone of yourself, in which case your mail-in ballot won’t count, since the original you– that other dude— showed up on Election Day in person and voted for the other guy.

The critics are already picking apart every facet of Biden’s plan. That is what they do. They get paid to do it. Fine. Mandatory mask-wearing, universal testing, everybody has an opinion. Everybody has concerns. We’ll hold that debate without anyone calling other people names.

What a relief!             

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One Bogus Hullabaloo

November 7, 2020

There are innumerable reasons to declare this election null and void! Firstly, it’s giving us a headache. That right there is a reason to cry “STOP THE COUNTING!” Secondly, it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Who needs this grief? No one. Fuhgeddaboudit! Like millions of Americans, I am doing just fine the way things are. As the great sage Hillel said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I?”

You are Donald John Trump, that’s what you are, Hillel! You are President of the United States!!! What did you think you were?

Since arguing with the ghost of Hillel rarely gets us anywhere, allow me to proceed:

Representative Jim Jordan (R, Ohio) appeared on Fox News to talk about his post-election experience. After spending four days eyeing the vote count in Pennsylvania, he reported several anomalies, peculiarities, injustices, code violations and general misbehavior among poll workers and election officials. His oral report sounded a little diffuse, however, kinda like a fishing expedition, as if he was just looking for stuff to complain about. Nothing could be further from the truth! Jim Jordan saw stuff!   

In an effort to formulate a more precise listing, I am writing now the various reasons I think this entire enterprise is well past its due date.

  1. Poll workers put cardboard on the windows so people couldn’t see in!!!!!!!!! I know Jim brought up this point, but it is well worth reiterating. If we don’t regulate the use of cardboard in this great country of ours, who knows where it will end? There is perfectly good plywood for boarding up windows. Let them use plywood like everybody else.
  2. They are counting millions of ballots. By hand! Just courting disaster. Just asking for it. As Shakespeare warned us regarding another subject entirely (he was apolitical for his time) “To err is human…” I can’t believe this antiquated system. Many locations aren’t even using an automated envelope opener. What good does it do to live in America, home of innovation, if we are going to plow our fields, open our mail and tabulate the vote by hand?
  3. Pennsylvania Secretary of State Kathy Boockvar reported that a man in Luzerne County forged the name of his deceased mother on an application for an absentee ballot. STOP THE COUNT! Voter fraud is like bedbugs, if we’ve uncovered one case, there must be millions! Millions! Quick, look under the mattress! As Lamont Cranston a k a The Shadow said, “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?” Stop the presses.
  4. Gun-toting protesters were prohibited from entering the Maricopa County tabulation center in Phoenix, Arizona where the mail-in ballots are being processed. I’m no fancy-pansy constitutional lawyer, but it sure sounds to me like this is a clear violation of First Amendment, Second Amendment and, I don’t know, maybe 14th Amendment rights! This is just the sort of excessive use of force which we can expect under a Biden presidency! Sheriffs telling the people what they can and cannot do sure sounds puritanical to me!  To paraphrase ol’ Will Shakespeare, the Bard, “Cry havoc and let slip the protesters!”
  5. Traffic lights. At intersections all over this great country of ours, the Authorities have erected traffic lights, entirely without our permission. This is creeping authoritarianism in the flesh. What’s next, gun laws?

I could go on, but you are getting my point. When the electorate of a great nation practices the quadrennial ritual of going to the polls to cast their ballots, selecting their elected leaders, there are always going to be sour grapes among at least some of the losers.

The system is broken and we know who broke it, Il Duce, breaking with tradition, lying from beneath his toupee, misbehaving and creating the American carnage we are all trying to correct.

Even kicking and screaming, Trump’s supporters will be entering a new decade of “return to normal” politics in a land where everyone is created equal and justice shall prevail.

Quite the hullaballoo.

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Quicky Election Primer

I am writing fast because at any moment, Joe Biden may be declared the winner of the 2020 presidential election.

Meanwhile, people at every point of the political spectrum are both anxious and nervous about the pending outcome. This primer is a ray of gamma radiation… I’m sorry, I mean sunlight… into the murky depths now confronting us. Here’s the deal:

Legal vs Illegal Votes

President Trump wants LEGAL VOTES to be counted, but not ILLEGAL VOTES. “How can I tell them apart?” you may well ask, gazing into the middle distance, sweat beading your brow, your heart beating arrhythmically on your sleeve. Relax! It’s very simple. A vote for Donald J. Trump is a LEGAL VOTE. A vote for Joseph R. Biden is an ILLEGAL VOTE. You don’t need a calculator to do the math.

 It’s the same with the partisan demands being made by both sides to either cease and desist or to go forward. There are five states still up for grabs: Pennsylvania, Arizona, Nevada, Georgia and North Carolina. In states where Trump is ahead— if any such states remain— obviously it is time to “STOP THE COUNT” as Trump himself has tweeted. Trump is leading? Stop right there, pardner! In states where Biden is leading, COUNT EVERY VOTE characterizes the moment, especially overseas military ballots, since they tend to favor the Commander in Chief.

What’s not to like?

Observers

Since transparency is an issue, observers should be allowed to sit and watch as the votes are counted. Unfortunately, some individuals call themselves “election challengers.” This name sends entirely the wrong message. It’s embarrassing enough for poll workers to be doing something like tabulating ballots while a total stranger glares at their every move, without adding the pressure of challenging the electoral process. There’s a place for those challenges: outside on the sidewalk.

Should an observer be allowed to sit on the lap of someone tabulating the vote? That all depends on how cute the observer is. Is French kissing allowed between vote tallies? Once again, each situation is unique. There’s no accounting for taste, as one man’s dreamboat may be another man’s idea of nothing. I prefer blue-eyed blondes.

Women poll workers have the right to practice this same process of elimination. They may prefer tall, dark strangers.

In his Thursday press conference, President Trump claimed that some observers were kept so far from the action, they were forced to use binoculars. There’s a reason why these individuals are being kept at arm’s length. Use of a strong mouthwash and an even stronger deodorant could be a possible solution to this dilemma.

Creativity

So-called creative counting should be applied to the tabulation. For example, try tabulating the ballots in a bathroom stall. Graffiti on the wall saying “Trump is a poo-poo” signals a vote for Biden. Graffiti saying “Biden sucks” accompanied by a lewd drawing of male genitalia obviously indicates a vote for President Trump. Obviously.

Clutching a ballot to your chest, close your eyes and chant “Om” three times. This will immediately indicate the intention of the voter.

Anybody can read a ballot and feed it into a scanner. The true rock stars of vote tabulation are the people who can do so while reading— with a straight face— Triggered by Donald Trump Jr.

Use a black light to examine the ballot for grease stains, footprints and food residue.

Sniff the ink used to mark the ballot. You’d be surprised how many perfectly ordinary people use scented ink. Lilac-scented ballots, good. Chipotle-scented ballots, bad. Might be people from south of the border.     

Conclusion

These things can get tricky, but by not overthinking any eventual problems, we can all go home at the end of the day and collapse on the couch, total wrecks.

   

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DO NOT PARDON TRUMP

November 6, 2020

Once he is no longer president, Donald John Trump faces a number of legal hurdles. New York state prosecutors are investigating possible tax fraud. At the federal level, there is the emoluments clause, since foreign governments have spent lavishly at Trump’s hotel in Washington, DC and the Mar-a-Lago country club in Florida to gain access to the president. There is possible obstruction of justice regarding the Mueller investigation. Paying to acquire the silence of adult film star Stormy Daniels could be construed as a campaign finance violation. Every time Trump uses the White house for political and campaign events, he is forcing the staff to violate the Hatch Act, which says federal employees may not use their official positions for political purposes. And there is conspiracy to defraud the United States if the Trump administration knowingly sabotaged the U.S. Postal Service in order to screw up mail-in voting.

As president, Trump cannot be charged with a crime. When he is no longer president, however, a time of reckoning fast approaches.  

On Wednesday, January 20, 2021, Joseph R. Biden Jr. will be sworn in as America’s 46th president.

On Thursday, January 21, 2021, President Biden will announce that in order to begin the process of healing a divided nation, and after consulting his pastor, his family and seeking the guidance of Almighty God, he is pardoning Donald J. Trump of all crimes large and small.

Joe Biden is a simple man at heart, a good Christian and kind. All his life experiences point to pardoning his predecessor as the right thing to do. By showing Christian charity, Joe Biden expects that Trump supporters will appreciate this gesture of reconciliation and return the sentiment.

Trump, however, has damaged America, perhaps irreparably. The American people need closure. Pardoning President Trump will short-circuit that process, leaving an open wound.

Democrats are always doing this stupid stuff. All Biden needs to do is keep his trap shut, keep his nose out of the judicial process and let the prosecutors and the courts do their jobs.

Too easy. Never happen!

Three minutes after President Biden makes his announcement, Donald John Trump will tweet, “I am so happy to see that I was Totally Right and the Dems were Totally Wrong. This was all a HOAX and FAKE NEWS to begin with. I never did anything wrong. Faced with making Fools of Themselves, the Democrats have folded their tent and snuck away into the night.”

Trump’s supporters will give the Democratic president the middle finger and chant “Chickenshit president! No balls Biden! Ho ho ho!”

Senator U-Know-Who will go on national television and announce, “This is what we expected from the Democrats. After spending four years trying unsuccessfully to dismantle the Trump presidency, rather than let the president be vindicated in a court of law, President Biden has totally thrown in the towel.”

Liberals, minorities and fellow Democrats will be appalled and take to the streets in protest. To no avail.

The message is clear: Rich people get away with stuff. That has been the story of Donald J. Trump’s life. He wanted court records sealed? But of course, said the judge, no problem. Privacy trumps public interest every time when the defendant is a multi-millionaire.

Gee, who would have thought there would be such a negative reaction?  the Biden people will wonder. The first crisis of the Biden presidency, all the White House can do is hunker down and wait for the storm to pass.

Leaving a gaping crater where there should have been the beginning of a new America with equal justice for all.

    

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Lessons of the 2020 Election

November 5, 2020

These are not the lessons that the pundits will draw, but they should.

First and foremost, Red Staters are tribal. What does that mean? It means that they like to be part of a group. Growing up feeling inferior, they love getting together in large crowds at rallies where they experience strength in numbers. Being part of a movement gives them identity and the illusion of power. Dictators the world over and all through history have appealed to “the rabble” as their dedicated followers. Today, that word has a derogatory meaning, but originally it referred to the common people, the common man. A rabble-rouser was not necessarily a bad thing, it meant a leader had the common touch and could inflame passion.

Americans don’t care about, intensely dislike and don’t want educated leaders. In fact, they deeply resent all these Democratic Party candidates who graduated from Harvard. Unable to go there, Red Staters see it as a snooty, East Coast elite institution totally out of step with them, the common man.

“The campaign” is a 24/7 event 365 days a year. While the Democrats sleep between elections, the Republican Party is actively recruiting all the time. The result is that the Republicans own the state houses, the governorships and the counties in an enormous swath of the country. They set the state laws, they gerrymander the voting districts and they rule. Wake up, Democrats! If you want to be players, you have to get to work. Otherwise, you’ll continue to play second fiddle.

Stop putting a stooge as head of the Democratic National Committee. The Democrats “elect” their party leader from among the party faithful. Invariably, he is a hail fellow, well met individual who does a poor job. He does such a mediocre job, the party basically ignores him during the election. The DNC could be a powerhouse that wields real clout in American politics, but not if it continues to be an envelope-stuffing entity endlessly spouting the party platform.

With a sharp political operative as head of the DNC and 24/7 activity every day of the year, the Democratic Party can transform itself into what it was up until 1980, the party of the working man.

The Democrats have dollar signs for eyeballs. This must stop. Stop asking for money! Stop thinking in terms of money.  Volunteers are perfectly willing to work for free. Their enthusiasm is contagious. A grassroots movement of engaged, caring individuals can transform a community! That’s what the Trump supporters have discovered. This fixation on money, which began in the Clinton administration, has isolated the Democratic Party. The party leadership sees people as donors and voters.  Otherwise, they have no time nor interest in the electorate. “Send us your money, give us your vote,” doesn’t cut it anymore, if it ever did. You get Democrats bragging about their candidate’s fundraising. This is dick measuring writ large. Stacey Abrams raised so much money! We are told that Jaime Harrison raised and spent more money on his senatorial campaign in South Carolina than any other candidate in history! As if that is a meaningful benchmark. The man lost, for God’s sake! Fundraising and buying ads are functions of a campaign, but winning the election should be the only benchmark. “We lost, but look at how much money we raised!” is nothing to brag about.

Trump is a despot in the making, but he is also a whiny, scared, childish man. For all his tweet storms, he can be handled with a firm hand. Once out of the White House, his legal predicament is so precarious, it is almost certain that he will be forced to move abroad. To a country that has no extradition treaty with the U.S.   

Forget about Trump’s fantasies regarding the law. It is not his personal plaything, nor whatever he and his team of lawyers say it is. Don’t argue with the man, just ignore his rages. Everyone is equal under the law except the president and the vice president. Trump— despite his fantasies— will not be president forever.    

Trump supporters can be weaned off one dictatorial strongman for another. The Democratic Party should reach out to them. Parades, rallies and red meat rhetoric appeal to them. They are more accessible than you might think. It will take work and engagement in the hinterlands, but if the Democratic Party provides services and honest, caring leadership, they can win back rural America.

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#TrumpNotSick?

October 7, 2020

Many people are saying that President Trump is not really ill with COVID-19. Based on that premise, I have done the following analysis. I don’t claim insider knowledge, but I do want to remind everyone about some blaring inconsistencies in the story so far.

Why in the world would Donald John Trump screw up his entire campaign schedule if he wasn’t indisposed? At first glance, the idea of him playacting sounds totally absurd. Like, totally. Here, however, is a possible reason: He craves the spotlight.

In 2016, Trump led the working press by the nose, calling all the shots and getting a billion dollars’ worth of free publicity. Reporters from newspapers and television covered his rallies week after week, vying for interviews with the candidate. Trump said that they should thank him since “I get the best ratings.” Having learned “how to cover Trump” as the news people now call it in 2020, they have been studiously avoiding giving the man free publicity. His name hasn’t been the lead on the nightly news (some nights at least) as wildfires, hurricanes and Democrats have often been the center of attention on television and in the morning newspapers.

Obviously, Trump would be irritated by that. A self-proclaimed narcissist, he craves both attention and validation every single day. Trump calls it, “dominating the news cycle.”

The last week in September was a particularly bad one for President Trump. First, The New York Times released a story based on his tax returns, showing that he was not the business guru he claimed to be. Trump’s entire brand is based on the concept that he is a billionaire business mogul. “A very stable genius,” as he says. So when the news came out that he paid zero income tax for 10 years because his properties were bleeding revenue— and that he paid a paltry $750 in federal income tax in 2016 and again in 2017— that struck blows to President Trump’s business empire, his brand and his own self-identity. This was very bad.

At the first presidential debate on Tuesday night, September 29th, Trump decided to tip over the apple cart in order to get Joe Biden to lose his composure and suffer a meltdown. From the get-go, Trump interrupted and ridiculed both Joe, his opponent, and the moderator Chris Wallace. When Wallace asked Trump to abide by the rules they had agreed upon— that each candidate would get to speak for two minutes uninterrupted— Trump asked if he was debating Joe Biden or Chris Wallace. Trump’s behavior made for an ugly, cantankerous debate, much ridiculed throughout the country and around the world.

That didn’t matter to Trump’s supporters or the Republicans. Susan Collins, a Republican senator from Maine who likes to see herself as a maverick, was shocked, shocked, and deeply offended that Joe Biden called the president a clown! That Trump was behaving clownishly apparently made no difference. A shouting match, nothing said in the debate mattered, since each side felt that their champion bested his opponent.

Would George Washington have been reelected in 1792 if he’d had an opponent?

Such was Tuesday night’s state of play until the debate’s last question. Chris Wallace asked both candidates to unequivocally denounce white supremacists and militia groups. Trump wanted a clarification, who exactly was he expected to denounce? When Joe Biden (I think it was him, the voice came from off-camera) suggested the Proud Boys militia, Trump repeated the name and declared, “Proud Boys, stand back and stand by.”

This overt call for racism did not sit well with the electorate. The very next day, Trump told reporters at the White House that he didn’t know who the Proud Boys were. He needed a definition. Just as Trump doesn’t know who his henchman Michael Cohen is either. Or Steve Bannon. Or most anybody else who gets in hot water. Trump disowns them, throwing each of them under the bus.

But the damage was done. Seemingly everybody had seen the debate. Very few people outside the Beltway heard Trump’s correction. And although Trump claimed that, according to his sources, he won the debate, Biden’s lead over Trump in the polls got a bump from 10 points to 14 points nationally.

That may seem like a lot of hot air, but most global warming is caused by cow farts releasing methane into the atmosphere. America is developing methods to encapsulate the methane at source, package it to scale and sell it to the energy sector in other parts of the world.

The only global warming this president admits to is the kind that originates between his legs.

Trump needed badly to retake the initiative and frame the election on his own terms, to set the agenda and regain control. But how? What to do? Knowing Trump, maybe he heard about all these people who had COVID-19 and were asymptomatic and decided, “Hey, I could do that.” To get the sympathy vote. To change the subject from business failures and racism.

At 1 a.m. on Friday morning, October 2nd, Trump sent a tweet saying that both he and Melania had tested positive for COVID-19. Notice that it wasn’t the White House physician releasing a statement. It wasn’t White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany announcing it at a press briefing. No, this was Trump himself informing us of how sick he was. But not so sick that he was unable to tweet.

As everyone knows, the coronavirus originated among the little green men in Area 51 and should officially be labeled “Martian flu.” No one wants to talk about it because it’s simply too embarrassing: The little peckerheads urinate the coronavirus, it’s in their bladders.  

Like everyone else, I assumed Trump really had contracted the illness. After all, Trump has consistently failed to wear a mask at his rallies or at White House functions. He is the one who ridiculed Biden during the debate for conscientiously wearing a mask. “Every time you see him, he’s got a mask,” quipped Trump. “He can be speaking 200 feet away from me, he shows up with the biggest mask I’ve ever seen.” Trump’s supporters consider mandatory mask-wearing a form of tyranny, the first creeping edge of a socialist take-over of the USA. They hate wearing masks because (1) no one can tell them what to do, (2) masks are for sissies and (3) their leader doesn’t wear one or practice social distancing, so why should they? Thanks to Trump’s behavior, mask-wearing has become totally politicized and weaponized.

Hearing that Melania and campaign manager Bill Stepien tested positive was sad, but it had no direct effect on me. Hearing that Kellyanne Conway, RNC Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel and former New Jersey governor Chris Christie tested positive, however, upset me enormously. They are people whose pronouncements drive me crazy, but I still wouldn’t wish COVID-19 on them. Or anyone else. From what I have heard and read, it’s a horrible disease: raging fever, scarring of the lungs, people put on ventilators to help them breathe. And over 210,000 American dead. I do not want Kellyanne, Ronna or Chris to suffer through all that.

Speaking of farts, forest fires are caused by schoolboys frying ants on the sidewalk with magnifying glasses. Once fried, they become fire ants. Carrying the fire inside their gut with them into the forest, the first time they belch or fart… Presto! A conflagration!

On Friday afternoon, the White House announced that the president would be moved to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. Like the time he had protesters pepper-sprayed and cleared out of Lafayette Square so that he could walk to St. John’s Episcopal Church and hold aloft a Bible, Trump’s pilgrimage by helicopter to Walter Reed became a closely watched event, as a shocked nation’s hearts and prayers went out to the president.

“You know,” I told my mom, “they’ve got him there at Walter Reed. All he has to do is keep his mouth shut and he has the sympathy of the entire world. But…Trump being Trump,” I warned her, “he’s bound to screw it up.”

Sure enough, upon arrival, Trump tweeted an 18-second pre-recorded video explaining his situation. Standing in the White House in a blue suit and blue tie, he was pale and looked sickly. Okie dokie artichokie. But at Walter Reed that very evening, Trump sent his Chief of Staff Mark Meadows outside to the front sidewalk to give Trump supporters Trump brand candy kisses. Trump’s base fails to realize the significance of the color red in their MAGA caps. Really??? Red caps??? Americans used to say “Better dead than red.” You know? сделаем Америку снова великой! Comrades, let’s make Amerika great again! Make look like Kremlin. Or Brighton Beach, where everybody speak Russian!

The next day, Saturday, Trump posted a four-minute video, this one filmed at Walter Reed. Sitting behind a desk, his shirt collar open, he gave the same Make America Great Again message which he delivers on the campaign trail. Unbelievable! IS THIS DUDE SICK??? He sure didn’t show it. On Sunday, complaining that he felt bored, Trump went on a car ride to wave hello to his supporters.

What does MAGA mean in Russian? How about magician? Wizard. Warlock. Or sorcerer. Take your pick. If his supporters googled this stuff, they’d get a very different picture of Donald J. Trump.

When I get the flu, I am one miserable son of a bitch, in bed from morning to night. I have fever and night sweats, headache and dizziness, nausea and diarrhea. I am sick. I am not tweeting, making videos and riding in motorcades.

By the way, I spoke at the Democratic National Convention in Milwaukee! Sure ’nuff. Speaking for almost 30 seconds, I asked a security guard for directions to the nearest Men’s Room.  

Trump’s personal physician Sean Conley came out daily in front of Walter Reed to answer reporters’ questions. The first time, he was accompanied by a flurry of seven men and two women in white coats. Theatrically, it was an impressive sight, Conley’s “team” as he repeatedly called them. Have they checked the president for bone spurs? These were the medical doctors taking care of the president. Yes, but who exactly are they? Anybody can come marching outside in a white coat. I hate to think that they dressed up a janitor in a white coat to get an even 10. Hey, it’s a minyan. Are they in fact doctors? Every Jewish mother wants her son to become a doctor. And if so, are these doctors in any way involved in the president’s medical care? Who knew? The next day, Sunday, we got some answers as Dr. Conley handed over the microphone to some of his colleagues. They provided competent medical analysis. Dr. Conley continued to let other team members report even on Monday.

Have you ever noticed how weather forecasters all look a little strange? Jack Nicholson’s character in the movie Easy Rider was right, the Venusians are taking over the planet! It’s only a matter of time before Earth is as sweltering and uninhabitable as the planet Venus.

Trump’s doctors seem very nice and extremely knowledgeable, but there’s a problem. How are we to know if Trump has actually received the described medical treatments, including Regeneron’s polyclonal antibody cocktail, Remdesivir from Eva Pharma and the steroid Dexamethasone? You watch an episode of ER on television and the script calls for a slew of medical procedures. Still, no one expects the actors to experience so much as a paper cut. Sure, it’s great that all these medical procedures are available to the President of the United States, but no one I have talked to can verify that the president took the pills!  

Pundits speculated that these new COVID-19 infections may have come from a superspreader event on Saturday, September 26, at the White House: The Trump administration hosted Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett and her family. People were congregating at close quarters without masks, hugging and talking animatedly both indoors and out.

As Honest Abe Lincoln used to say, “Betsy Ross was often cross, but she sewed a mean Stars and Bars.” In other words, cherchez la femme.

Oh, Kellyanne, you are retired, why couldn’t you stay away from that Den of Iniquity also known as the White House??? 

Throughout this crisis, the White House delivered mixed signals, seemingly unable to keep its story straight. What was the sequence of events and who made the decisions? Was the president on oxygen or wasn’t he?

Apparently this White House strain of COVID-19 differs from the illness that has killed 210,000 Americans: No more raging fever, no more bed-ridden patients on respirators, no more scarred lungs. Amazing! And everybody is back on their feet and ready to go in just four days, all symptoms having disappeared. It’s like a miracle!

Since Trump has already lied to us 20,000 times, publicly and without shame, why should we believe at this late date, a month before the presidential election, that suddenly his COVID-19 scenario is a bona fide illness and a national emergency? Trump now has the attention of the whole wide world. His bout with COVID-19 seized the headlines. It’s working! Magnificently. The press corps is once again hanging on his every utterance, panting for more info. DJ Trump controls the narrative and headlines every news broadcast. If he isn’t sick, he sure is making a monkey out of all the pundits and journalists busy parsing when he became infected and who else might have gotten the illness.

My sources insist that Trump didn’t get COVID-19 at all, it was his stand-in, his doppelgänger, his body double who caught the virus. “Trumpf,” they say auf deutsch, “is mercifully healthy.”

Our hearts and minds go out to the brave helicopter pilots of Marine One who ferry the president on his appointed rounds. Their job is never easy. 

Tonight, Monday, October 5th, Trump is returning to the White House in spite of warnings from virologists that he may remain highly contagious. Trump doesn’t seem to care. Is that because he’s a self-centered, selfish narcissist or because he knows full well that no one can catch COVID-19 from him since he doesn’t actually have it?

Who knows?

That, at any rate, is my analysis of the situation.

Condolences to the Secret Service, forced to deal with Trump’s every whim.

Now medical experts tell us that the next eight days will be crucial to the president’s health.

At Fort Richardson in Anchorage, Alaska, we had a joke about the tiny hamburger in the giant bun:

“I’m eating bread, where’s the burger?” asked the newbie.

“Keep eating, it’s in there, you just haven’t gotten to it yet.”

Several minutes later…

“I’m still eating bread, where’s the burger?”

“Oh, you must have passed it.”

In the shell game/ soap opera that is the life and times of Donald J. Trump, expect to get conned out of your socks. Like P. T. Barnum, El Trumpo is a genius at fleecing the unwary. Believing in what Trump tells you is for suckers. We do so at our own risk.

A fellow sufferer asked on Twitter: “Does being a pathological liar make you more susceptible to COVID-19?” Trump’s supporters did not like that and called her rude names.

When I ran the hashtag #TrumpNotSick on Twitter, the overwhelming response was “I don’t want to question your intelligence, so I’ll just assume this is a parody.”

It is.

I had never cooked up a conspiracy theory before. This is my first and last attempt. Urjobbigt, in Swedish, it’s more work than it’s worth researching the facts and then spinning them into a ridiculous rant.

What celestial object does Mike Pence examine from his perch in the Naval Observatory? The moon, which is NOT made of green cheese. Perish the thought! It’s made of Limburger.    

Back in the White House and as provocative as always, Trump has tweeted “Don’t be afraid of COVID. Don’t let it dominate your life.” That’s easy for him to say, he may not even have it! I can see where he is going with this, it’s as evident as falling off a bar stool: The Great Trump will brag that he is IMMUNE TO COVID-19!!!

And the mythology is complete.

Be well, stay safe!

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Goals & Intentions

September 15, 2020

Today, the written word is a torrent. Seemingly, there’s more being written than ever can be read. Thankfully, my barbs and snide remarks on Twitter, @k_feingold, get a few likes, always one or two, never three. Once, amazingly, one of my comments went viral, garnering 34,000 likes. Once! That was the one where I joked that Dr. Anthony Fauci was secretly Fao Chi and Chinese.

I gotta laugh.

If you have the technical expertise and/or contact network to put my blog out there in a big way, this would be an ideal time for you to forward the link. Right now, we’re a pretty wonderful but exclusive bunch of diehards. There are about 50 of us, you my readers and me your writer. That you stick with me is a wonder to behold.

I have readers in the USA and China. This makes me very proud. Occasionally, someone in France, the UK, Sweden, Switzerland or Italy also reads my blog. I thank you all!

I write about politics to maintain my sanity. Society is going downhill fast. I try to impede this catastrophe by crying “Wolf!” I also feel like I am a canary in a coal mine.

I really put time and effort into my writing. I do not claim to have secret sources salted away in the government, but occasionally I do get a nugget of intel around which I can write a paragraph.

Trump is an idiot. The question for me is why Americans elected him and why his reelection is even under discussion.

Global warming causes extreme weather, pandemics, catastrophic wildfires on every continent but the poles, mass annihilation of animal life, damage to the ocean, damage to the Amazon, melting glaciers, calving ice shelves, rising sea levels, desalination of the oceans and a rapidly deteriorating atmosphere.

Guess if I’m worried.

I am. Deeply!

Do I want to influence the upcoming American presidential election? Damn straight I do!

Stay well. Stay safe!

Yours, Kev

 

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Screwing with the Election

September 9, 2020

A little history. The 2016 election of Donald Trump consisted of multiple train wrecks.

A reality TV star and erstwhile businessman, DJ Trump had been in people’s living rooms for 14 seasons of The Apprentice and The Celebrity Apprentice. These programs were structured and edited by producer Mark Burnett of “Survivor” fame to make Trump appear a boardroom guru. They sold the television-addicted American people the illusion that Trump was a business genius. Trump’s five bankruptcies might say otherwise, but once people became fans, no amount of bitter reality will ever dispel their loyalty: Good season or bad, Yankee fans are Yankee fans. Trump fans love their man. The more outrageous he behaves, the more they love him!

Trump was able to convince rural and suburban white America that he— a New Yawk real estate mogul— cared about them. America’s “forgotten” men and women, smarting from liberal neglect, they flocked to Trump, who promised to be their champion. A genius at branding, he copyrighted the slogan Make America Great Again. His followers are able to read into that whatever they want.

People may not have been sold on The Donald, but they truly hated privileged, money-grubbing Bill and Hillary Clinton who shamelessly pawed home ridiculous speaking fees on the lecture circuit. A vote for Donald Trump was a vote against decadent liberal corruption.

(What a joke! Far from Draining the Swamp, Trump Inc. has turned the federal government into a cash cow. Many government employees, including the Secret Service and Vice President Pence, have stayed overnight at many Trump properties, paying top dollar. In taxpayer money. A graduate of the Wharton School of Business, Class of ’68, Trump is a genius at manipulating financial systems to his advantage.)

The media went gaga over Trump in 2016, broadcasting his rallies day and night, free of charge. Even when Trump belittled them over their fixation on ratings… “I get the best ratings!…” like lapdogs, they came trotting back for more. At one point, in a fit of pique, Trump prohibited journalists from The Washington Post from attending his morning rally. Yet, four hours later, there he was, giving a one-on-one interview to Post journalist Philip Rucker. By running for president, Trump made fools of the media.

Twitter has completely changed the communication landscape, allowing @realDonaldTrump to communicate directly with his followers anytime day or night, unfiltered and uncensored.

Glavset, The Internet Research Agency troll farm in St. Petersburg, Russia, hijacked Facebook, Twitter and other social media platforms in 2016, sowing division among Americans. Who knew? Cyber warfare, they used clever memes and fake persona. Stoking Americans’ anger, their disinformation campaigns were incredibly successful.

At the Clinton-Trump debates, Trump bullied, interrupted, lied and wandered the stage. Unprepared for his shenanigans, the moderators sat helplessly by, playing stooge to Trump’s comedian. “You’re the puppet!” shouted Donald Trump and no one called him to order. When he went walk-about on-stage, bodily threatening Hillary, no moderator politely requested that Trump return to his place at the lectern.

A dissembler, Hillary Clinton had great difficulty displaying honesty. Brittle and apprehensive, she wouldn’t even admit having pneumonia on the campaign trail until she collapsed on the sidewalk.

Like a throbbing toothache, WikiLeaks released a daily dribble of Hillary Clinton Campaign Chairman John Podesta’s emails all 30 days leading up to the election. A Russian military intelligence cyber espionage group codenamed “Fancy Bear” has been credited with the hack. More cyber warfare, these gmail missives were a total disaster, displaying the Democrats at their worst.

Ten days before the election, FBI Director James Comey announced that the bureau was re-opening the investigation into Hillary’s emails. Just when the campaign thought they had successfully left the issue of Hillary’s private email account behind them… BAM! There it was again.

Trump gamed the Electoral College brilliantly, winning the presidential election even without winning the popular vote. One vote in Wyoming is equal to 3.6 votes in California. Trump made sure to get those red state votes. That gave him the election.

Election night TV coverage completely missed the boat. It sounded like this: “…Hillary… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Michigan… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Wisconsin… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has taken Ohio… Hillary… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Pennsylvania and Florida…. Meanwhile, Hillary… Oh, my God! Donald John Trump is the next President of the United States of America.”

Who decides?

At 60%, White Americans are the majority.

Hispanic and Latino Americans, the largest ethnic minority, comprise 18% of the population.

African Americans comprise 13.4% of the population.

Asian Americans are 5.6% of the population.

If the election of 2020 is a last gasp of white dominance over American life, these numbers show that the minority vote alone cannot carry a national election.

On any given day, Trump has the support of 35% of the electorate. Unshakable, they are his fan base. Whether traditional Republicans, Confederate flag-waving patriots, supporters of the Second Amendment, adherents to The Lost Cause of the War Between the States, QAnon true believers or “I Got Mine” blacks and Latinos, come Hell or high water, they will vote for Trump.

Trump supporters will believe anything he says. With their short attention span, they even allow him to change his story from one press conference to the next.

As Chico of the Marx Brothers said, “Who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?”

Like a good soap opera, every day Trump presents a new episode, dominating the news cycle.

California and the western states are getting burnt to a cinder, but El Trumpo considers global warming to be a hoax… invented by China!

No, Mr. President, the military doesn’t wish to fight endless wars in order to please the armaments industry. Read my lips: The Pentagon is not manned by war profiteers. Slurs against the military— like your slights against the United States Postal Service— force Americans to choose between loyalty to you, sir, or to the country’s most cherished traditions. Being asked to choose between a Johnny-come-lately like Donald J. Trump and the Pony Express, most people choose the mail carriers of 1860. Americans are proud of their heritage, despite Republican gaslighting to the contrary.

Just as he did in 2016, Trump claims the election is rigged against him, questioning the entire process. Apparently, democratic elections don’t suit him. Afraid that he cannot win fair and square, he’s busy farting around.

Russia is up to its old tricks, attacking the Democrats and trying to tilt the election in Trump’s favor, but Donald J. Trump insists on willfully ignoring foreign meddling.   

Trump even prevaricates over whether he will peacefully leave office, should he fail to win.

Now that’s entertainment! That’s Trump.

You decide!

Desperate to win re-election, Trump hems and haws about a vaccine for the coronavirus, faux predicting a roll-out as soon as… October!!!

An October Surprise, as they call it in presidential elections.

Yeah. Right.

Since the pandemic will lead to record levels of mail-in voting, Trump insists— without proof— that mail-in voting leads to voter fraud. Meanwhile, Melania and he— claiming the Mar-a-Lago Country Club in Florida as their official place of residence— are mailing in their ballots. Talk about cognitive dissonance, even Trump appears confused.

Trump’s newly installed Postmaster General Louis DeJoy seems intent on mucking up the election. He has overseen the removal of mailboxes and the dismantling of sorting machines, even while governors all across the country warn that they may not be able to handle the expected volume of mail-in voting. Is this man purposely crippling the postal system and, if so, on whose order, Mr. President?

Everywhere, Americans fueled by white grievance continue to vent over Obama and the Democrats.

Those white Americans will not vote for Kamala Harris who is part Indian and part black. Interestingly, now that the Republican Party is led by a wild card, the Dems have gone white bread in Joe Biden. We shall see if “Drain the Swamp!” Trumpers are in sufficient pain to cross over and vote for Biden, an Establishment figure.

According to the Trump family members who spoke at the four-day Republican Convention— dutiful sons Don Jr. and Eric, Melania dressed in military garb, daughters Ivanka and Tiffany, plus daughter-in-law Lara Trump— Joe Biden is a socialist Prince of Darkness, a pawn of the radical left who will destroy America’s lily white suburbs by flooding them with low-cost apartment houses!

I shudder at the thought.

But it’s a funny thing, people are tired of the anger and acrimony. The more strident Trump becomes nearing Election Day, the more people tune him out.

The presidency of Donald John Trump is a white American problem. No amount of marching in the streets, protests by Black Lives Matter protesters, night-time demonstrations, riots, looting, vandals or bullsheit news coverage both online and off will decide this election.

White America will decide this election.

Multi-cultural America is suffering growing pains. The entire world is watching as America struggles to decide what kind of country it wants to be.

 

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RNC 2020 Convention in Tweets

August 28, 2020

I grew up adjacent to The 1812 Hwy, a classic sunken road in Oxburg, Maryland left over from the Civil War. At football games, our high school cheerleaders would lead us in a chant: “Push ‘em back, push ‘em back, way-y-y-y-y back!” At the Republican National Convention of 2020, I hear a lot of cheerleading.

Personally, I think Donald J. Trump is a dud. He’s like a faulty Chinese firecracker, fuse sputtering, releasing white smoke and sparks, but zero bang. What he does do, signing Executive Orders, invariably turns into an unmitigated disaster. This reality is a given, just ask the people of Atlantic City, New Jersey. The man is a failed businessman who survived six bankruptcies. “That shows I’m smart,” brays Donald J. Trump.

No, sir. That shows U R an a-hole.

Trump’s tweet storms have ignited the country.

So I wasn’t under any illusions going into the Republican Convention.

I sat watching the Democratic Convention on TV with a feeling of dread, hoping against hope that they would just squeak through without blowing up the candy store. Eureka! They did it. The streets are filled with Black Lives Matter protesters, but the Democrats maintained message discipline. Which was a good thing. It meant fewer gaffes, less cannon fodder for the Republican attack dogs to gnaw on.

I fully ascribe to whatever complaints were leveled at the Democratic National Convention. We are who we are, warts and all. AOC, bless her heart, never got the memo, seconding the nomination of Bernie Sanders at a convention celebrating the selection of Joe Biden to lead the party in November. Yes, there’s a left wing to the Democratic Party, waving copies of Das Kapital by Karl Marx, but I experience that as a good thing. They add leaven to the bread.

We Democrats never said we were perfect.

The Republicans, on the other hand, consider themselves perfect. Donnie only speaks in superlatives: His is the greatest economy in history, he has the largest crowds and best TV ratings, only the very best people work in his administration. Mo’ better. But as Obama explained in his excellent critique leveled at Trump during the DNC Convention, The Donald has never fully engaged in the work. Clueless, he never gets the job done. Instead, El Trumpo spends an inordinate amount of time watching Fox News, tweeting, and speaking at press conferences and rallies, bragging about his accomplishments. If Obama the professor drove us to distraction during his presidency by constantly mansplaining, El Trumpo drives us crazy with his endless bragging. Childish behavior by any other name is still a pain in the butt.

My Tweets

Is that an elephant I hear TRUMPeting in the distance? Welcome to the March of the Dodo Birds.

Donald John Trump tells us climate change is a hoax invented by China, Mexicans are murderers & rapists and there was no Russian interference in the 2016 election. Trump puts children in cages, yet this GOP Convention calls him a hero.

THIS JUST IN: Unconfirmed report that President Trump will address convention on Day Four. In Russian!

Blond, blue-eyed Natalie Harp from California, pretty & compelling, tells us that if not for President Trump, we would all be living in Pottersville. “It’s a Wonderful Life” is a good metaphor, Natalie, but slightly misplaced: No one more closely resembles Mr. Potter than real estate mogul Donald John Trump!

 

NOTE: Listening to Ms. Harp, one is bowled over. As sweet as a Spring morning, she claims she owes her very life to President Trump. His Right-To-Try legislation gave her access to the medicine that defeated her bone cancer. Wow! What can you say to that??? It feels a little suspicious that she is part of Trump’s reelection campaign, but after all, maybe they like each other. Then I read a thread by a medical professional who points out that her treatments took place before RTT was even passed, that the meds Natalie used were already approved by the Food and Drug Administration, that she and The Donald participated together in a previous forum, and that only about 10 people in the whole wide world have in fact been treated under Right-To-Try. Apparently the drug companies want no part of unclinical trials that would leave them open to litigation.

 

These people are salesmen and saleswomen, selling us the Trump brand. Ms. Harp’s ready smile, widening of the eyes and unbridled sincerity is a performance. Ugh! Another snake oil salesperson in the long list of disappointments in the Trump universe.

[ Re the McCloskeys ] What is wrong with this picture? It’ll be a miracle if he doesn’t accidentally shoot his wife. Textbook example of how NOT to handle a firearm.

Don Jr gave an incredible performance: he preached like a televangelist, lectured us about freedom and quoted Thomas Jefferson. Don Jr’s worldview, however, leads to Jim Crow segregation, gun massacres and lynchings. Nostalgia for a bloodstained past. FREEDOM! For white people.

When Don Jr begins quoting Thomas Jefferson at me, I have had enough.

What branch of the military has Melania joined, since she was dressed in olive drab? Smart, the media knew her costume was a provocation and ignored it. But seeing her dressed like that felt like a throwback to Germany in the 1930’s.

(I’m not the only one on Twitter who finds Melania’s garb inappropriate. One tweet declares that her brownshirt uniform was the message. Nicely put.)

If we were curious about what the Trump children are really like, they have done us the favor of introducing themselves. Trust fund babies lecturing the middle class about the omnipotence of their father.

Bring on the clowns!

Where do they get this SOCIALISM straw man? Apparently das Trumf volk really believe they are in a time warp battle against sozialismus. Bernie Sanders & the Gang of Four are radicals but they don’t rule the Democrats. Political opponents are not enemies. It’s called democracy.

Mike Pence, I cannot hear what you are saying because what you are speaks so loudly.

[ Day Three, Pence speech at Ft McHenry, Maryland ] Good speech. Enough with the riots. But why are these young Americans rioting? Perhaps they are fed up with police brutality, racism and President Trump’s abusive taunts. Stop the violence, Mr. Vice President, but offer an alternative. What’s the plan, Mike?

Daughter-in-law Lara Trump describes a wonderful, helpful, kind and generous man, who only wants the best for every American. That’s great! I would be delighted to meet such a person. Unfortunately, that’s not the meanness & venom this country has experienced in the last three and a half years.

You give love a bad name.

If I hear one more person describe Trump as a successful businessman, I am going to hurl. Six bankruptcies, Trump is NOT a successful businessman. He is a con artist salesman posing as a businessman.

The Revenge of the Blondes, after years of being the butt of “dumb blonde” jokes, blond women have been chosen almost exclusively by the Trump Reelection Committee to speak on the president’s behalf. Beware the red dress!

If DJT had any cajones, he would stand up and shout “YES! I am a barroom brawler & proud of it!” Instead, we get his children’s putrid portrait of a lovey-dovey father figure, all sweetness & light. Yuk!

So I ask you: When is Trump finally going to show us his birth certificate?

A vaccine by the New Year? Don’t try to buy milk with that phony $3 bill.

What jungle does that Tarzan reside in?

Dems give “free reign to violent anarchists, agitators and criminals who threaten our citizens” says DJ Trump. Moi? A violent anarchist?

Was this speech transcribed from the original Russian?

I Got Mine

What do all of the speakers have in common? A philosophy of “I got mine!” They are the children of good fortune, but as Maximo Alvarez says, they aren’t going to let anyone take their wealth away from them.

Mark and Patricia McCloskey with their 52-room house (according to Dan Zak in The Washington Post) in St. Louis, Missouri, warn us that if we elect a Democrat as president, there goes the neighborhood! We’ll have anarchy and chaos on our streets, the defunding of police, and the ending of cash bail, so criminals can get out of jail to riot once again.  According to the McCloskeys, the Dems support radicals who want to abolish suburbs altogether! By changing the zoning laws, ending single family home zoning, they’ll bring crime, lawlessness and low-quality apartments into now-thriving suburban neighborhoods. Says Pat McCloskey. Under Democratic rule, they insist, we’ll experience what they did:  An out-of-control mob of radicals roaming the streets of suburbia with bullhorns, screaming “You can’t stop the revolution!”

An apocalyptic vision, to say the least.

The McCloskeys are lawyers. Like Trump, they sue people left, right and center. Mark destroyed beehives adjacent to their property belonging to a religious day school and then threatened the congregation with a restraining order. Scratch the surface and you find a lot of these seemingly attractive people who are giving testimonials turn out to be pretty unpleasant characters. Not kind, not nice, uncivil. Aggressive and egocentric.

Most shocking is that every last speaker at the RNC Convention seems to have drunk the Kool-Aid: Whether black or white, these privileged individuals appear to truly believe that their place in life is at the top of the food chain, that the silver spoon is theirs for the asking, and that hordes of socialist terrorists are preparing to take over this country.

These people are selling us their brand of America, almost a parody, where they are top dog— through hard work, talent, luck, wealth and, in some cases,  family connections— while the rest of us mediocrities slave away in penal servitude to the top 1%, the big capitalists.

It’s true that we political operatives are cynical and view the entire world as performance. During the convention, disturbingly, I keep expecting to see the little red and white box in the lower right hand corner of the screen announcing “As Seen On TV.” Have I stumbled onto a mutant form of campaign coverage as presented by the shopping channel?

WAIT! Trust fund babe Ivanka Trump speaks on behalf of “the people.” She tells us that real estate billionaire Donald J. Trump is “the people’s president.” Are you kiddin’ me? And that hair! Well, at least Ivanka got her dad’s middle initial right. Although it was touch and go there for a second.

Disappointments being what they are, Donald J. Tяump never did address the amerikanskii people in the original Russian. It might have added clarity to his presentation. (Nyet! Yust yoking!)

Vaccine?

You don’t even need to listen to the speech to know that Trump— the endless huckster— will float the idea of a vaccine for Covid-19— AGAIN! This time, maybe, who knows… maybe it’ll even be ready before the New Year. A miraculous vaccine, best in the world. Definitely before the New Year. Maybe.

That is the topic on everyone’s mind, so, of course, that is where he makes the night’s emptiest promises.

Less testing.

Stick our heads in the sand and it’ll disappear. POOF! Like a miracle.

Oh, WAIT! That line didn’t work last time either.

So now the miracle vaccine is somehow linked to reelecting El Trumpo. I mean, the world is working on a cure, we are going to get a vaccine eventually. Meanwhile, we can put Old Donnie the bull artist out to pasture.

Nixon promised that if elected, he had a secret plan to end the Vietnam war.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Trump is going to release his tax statements… real soon!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Don’t misunderstand me, this is standup comedy of the highest order. Listen closely and you’ll realize that Trump is being ironic. He’s yust yoking! There’s no vaccine, he’s purposely mixing positive thinking with voodoo wish fulfillment. He’s being ironic. It’s the South Lawn of the White House, Day Four of the convention, everybody’s tired. Adding a little levity to a somber occasion, The Donald is joking around. Vaccine up yer ass, bubba!

Upon leaving the White House, once outside the fence enclosure, attendees get harassed by a dozen angry young protesters.  Reap the whirlwind. People shout in their faces. We’re in a very sad state of disunion, witnessing the dismantling of America. It’s 9:30 in the morning in the Kremlin. Putin must be pleased. At least the weather is good.

Tяump

 Donald John Trump is methodically dismantling American government and American society. A full-time Russian agent couldn’t do a more thorough job. Intelligence reports indicate that during the 2016 election campaign, the Trump team had contact at least 140 times with Russian nationals and Wikileaks or their intermediaries. Facts on the ground, this is upsetting stuff.

Then there are those disturbing photos of Trump on May 10, 2017 in the Oval Office yukking it up with the Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov  and Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak. Once viewed, those images, provided by the Russian news agency TASS, are hard to forget.

At the 2018 Russia – United States Summit on July 16 in Helsinki, Finland, Trump spoke privately with Vladimir Putin for almost two hours with only a single female interpreter present. We still don’t know what they discussed during those 120 minutes. Dachas? Trump Tower Moskva? Later, at their joint press conference, Trump said Putin denied interfering in the 2016 presidential election and that Trump believed Putin’s denial. This caused an uproar worldwide. The next day, Trump “corrected” his previous statement.

Nobody can sue a sitting president, but a sitting president can sue everybody. No one is immune from prosecution except the president. No one is above the law except the president. You can impeach him, but you cannot find him guilty. Nor can he be removed from office. Such is the law in Tяump’s America. Trump is litigious and nobody wants to get sued, so everyone has kept their mouths shut, leaving America’s democratic way of life hanging by a thread. Dousing the fire with gasoline, on September 27, 2020, the Showtime network will begin airing The Comey Rule, a two-part drama that raises the question whether Donald J. Trump is a Russian asset. Five weeks before the election. Unless there’s an injunction.

 

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