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Goals & Intentions

Today, the written word is a torrent. Seemingly, there’s more being written than ever can be read. Thankfully, my barbs and snide remarks on Twitter, @k_feingold, get a few likes, always one or two, never three. Once, amazingly, one of my comments went viral, garnering 34,000 likes. Once! That was the one where I joked that Dr. Anthony Fauci was secretly Fao Chi and Chinese.

I gotta laugh.

If you have the technical expertise and/or contact network to put my blog out there in a big way, this would be an ideal time for you to forward the link. Right now, we’re a pretty wonderful but exclusive bunch of diehards. There are about 50 of us, you my readers and me your writer. That you stick with me is a wonder to behold.

I have readers in the USA and China. This makes me very proud. Occasionally, someone in France, the UK, Sweden, Switzerland or Italy also reads my blog. I thank you all!

I write about politics to maintain my sanity. Society is going downhill fast. I try to impede this catastrophe by crying “Wolf!” I also feel like I am a canary in a coal mine.

I really put time and effort into my writing. I do not claim to have secret sources salted away in the government, but occasionally I do get a nugget of intel around which I can write a paragraph.

Trump is an idiot. The question for me is why Americans elected him and why his reelection is even under discussion.

Global warming causes extreme weather, pandemics, catastrophic wildfires on every continent but the poles, mass annihilation of animal life, damage to the ocean, damage to the Amazon, melting glaciers, calving ice shelves, rising sea levels, desalination of the oceans and a rapidly deteriorating atmosphere.

Guess if I’m worried.

I am. Deeply!

Do I want to influence the upcoming American presidential election? Damn straight I do!

Stay well. Stay safe!

Yours, Kev

 

Screwing with the Election

A little history. The 2016 election of Donald Trump consisted of multiple train wrecks.

A reality TV star and erstwhile businessman, DJ Trump had been in people’s living rooms for 14 seasons of The Apprentice and The Celebrity Apprentice. These programs were structured and edited by producer Mark Burnett of “Survivor” fame to make Trump appear a boardroom guru. They sold the television-addicted American people the illusion that Trump was a business genius. Trump’s five bankruptcies might say otherwise, but once people became fans, no amount of bitter reality will ever dispel their loyalty: Good season or bad, Yankee fans are Yankee fans. Trump fans love their man. The more outrageous he behaves, the more they love him!

Trump was able to convince rural and suburban white America that he— a New Yawk real estate mogul— cared about them. America’s “forgotten” men and women, smarting from liberal neglect, they flocked to Trump, who promised to be their champion. A genius at branding, he copyrighted the slogan Make America Great Again. His followers are able to read into that whatever they want.

People may not have been sold on The Donald, but they truly hated privileged, money-grubbing Bill and Hillary Clinton who shamelessly pawed home ridiculous speaking fees on the lecture circuit. A vote for Donald Trump was a vote against decadent liberal corruption.

(What a joke! Far from Draining the Swamp, Trump Inc. has turned the federal government into a cash cow. Many government employees, including the Secret Service and Vice President Pence, have stayed overnight at many Trump properties, paying top dollar. In taxpayer money. A graduate of the Wharton School of Business, Class of ’68, Trump is a genius at manipulating financial systems to his advantage.)

The media went gaga over Trump in 2016, broadcasting his rallies day and night, free of charge. Even when Trump belittled them over their fixation on ratings… “I get the best ratings!…” like lapdogs, they came trotting back for more. At one point, in a fit of pique, Trump prohibited journalists from The Washington Post from attending his morning rally. Yet, four hours later, there he was, giving a one-on-one interview to Post journalist Philip Rucker. By running for president, Trump made fools of the media.

Twitter has completely changed the communication landscape, allowing @realDonaldTrump to communicate directly with his followers anytime day or night, unfiltered and uncensored.

Glavset, The Internet Research Agency troll farm in St. Petersburg, Russia, hijacked Facebook, Twitter and other social media platforms in 2016, sowing division among Americans. Who knew? Cyber warfare, they used clever memes and fake persona. Stoking Americans’ anger, their disinformation campaigns were incredibly successful.

At the Clinton-Trump debates, Trump bullied, interrupted, lied and wandered the stage. Unprepared for his shenanigans, the moderators sat helplessly by, playing stooge to Trump’s comedian. “You’re the puppet!” shouted Donald Trump and no one called him to order. When he went walk-about on-stage, bodily threatening Hillary, no moderator politely requested that Trump return to his place at the lectern.

A dissembler, Hillary Clinton had great difficulty displaying honesty. Brittle and apprehensive, she wouldn’t even admit having pneumonia on the campaign trail until she collapsed on the sidewalk.

Like a throbbing toothache, WikiLeaks released a daily dribble of Hillary Clinton Campaign Chairman John Podesta’s emails all 30 days leading up to the election. A Russian military intelligence cyber espionage group codenamed “Fancy Bear” has been credited with the hack. More cyber warfare, these gmail missives were a total disaster, displaying the Democrats at their worst.

Ten days before the election, FBI Director James Comey announced that the bureau was re-opening the investigation into Hillary’s emails. Just when the campaign thought they had successfully left the issue of Hillary’s private email account behind them… BAM! There it was again.

Trump gamed the Electoral College brilliantly, winning the presidential election even without winning the popular vote. One vote in Wyoming is equal to 3.6 votes in California. Trump made sure to get those red state votes. That gave him the election.

Election night TV coverage completely missed the boat. It sounded like this: “…Hillary… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Michigan… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Wisconsin… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has taken Ohio… Hillary… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Pennsylvania and Florida…. Meanwhile, Hillary… Oh, my God! Donald John Trump is the next President of the United States of America.”

Who decides?

At 60%, White Americans are the majority.

Hispanic and Latino Americans, the largest ethnic minority, comprise 18% of the population.

African Americans comprise 13.4% of the population.

Asian Americans are 5.6% of the population.

If the election of 2020 is a last gasp of white dominance over American life, these numbers show that the minority vote alone cannot carry a national election.

On any given day, Trump has the support of 35% of the electorate. Unshakable, they are his fan base. Whether traditional Republicans, Confederate flag-waving patriots, supporters of the Second Amendment, adherents to The Lost Cause of the War Between the States, QAnon true believers or “I Got Mine” blacks and Latinos, come Hell or high water, they will vote for Trump.

Trump supporters will believe anything he says. With their short attention span, they even allow him to change his story from one press conference to the next.

As Chico of the Marx Brothers said, “Who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?”

Like a good soap opera, every day Trump presents a new episode, dominating the news cycle.

California and the western states are getting burnt to a cinder, but El Trumpo considers global warming to be a hoax… invented by China!

No, Mr. President, the military doesn’t wish to fight endless wars in order to please the armaments industry. Read my lips: The Pentagon is not manned by war profiteers. Slurs against the military— like your slights against the United States Postal Service— force Americans to choose between loyalty to you, sir, or to the country’s most cherished traditions. Being asked to choose between a Johnny-come-lately like Donald J. Trump and the Pony Express, most people choose the mail carriers of 1860. Americans are proud of their heritage, despite Republican gaslighting to the contrary.

Just as he did in 2016, Trump claims the election is rigged against him, questioning the entire process. Apparently, democratic elections don’t suit him. Afraid that he cannot win fair and square, he’s busy farting around.

Russia is up to its old tricks, attacking the Democrats and trying to tilt the election in Trump’s favor, but Donald J. Trump insists on willfully ignoring foreign meddling.   

Trump even prevaricates over whether he will peacefully leave office, should he fail to win.

Now that’s entertainment! That’s Trump.

You decide!

Desperate to win re-election, Trump hems and haws about a vaccine for the coronavirus, faux predicting a roll-out as soon as… October!!!

An October Surprise, as they call it in presidential elections.

Yeah. Right.

Since the pandemic will lead to record levels of mail-in voting, Trump insists— without proof— that mail-in voting leads to voter fraud. Meanwhile, Melania and he— claiming the Mar-a-Lago Country Club in Florida as their official place of residence— are mailing in their ballots. Talk about cognitive dissonance, even Trump appears confused.

Trump’s newly installed Postmaster General Louis DeJoy seems intent on mucking up the election. He has overseen the removal of mailboxes and the dismantling of sorting machines, even while governors all across the country warn that they may not be able to handle the expected volume of mail-in voting. Is this man purposely crippling the postal system and, if so, on whose order, Mr. President?

Everywhere, Americans fueled by white grievance continue to vent over Obama and the Democrats.

Those white Americans will not vote for Kamala Harris who is part Indian and part black. Interestingly, now that the Republican Party is led by a wild card, the Dems have gone white bread in Joe Biden. We shall see if “Drain the Swamp!” Trumpers are in sufficient pain to cross over and vote for Biden, an Establishment figure.

According to the Trump family members who spoke at the four-day Republican Convention— dutiful sons Don Jr. and Eric, Melania dressed in military garb, daughters Ivanka and Tiffany, plus daughter-in-law Lara Trump— Joe Biden is a socialist Prince of Darkness, a pawn of the radical left who will destroy America’s lily white suburbs by flooding them with low-cost apartment houses!

I shudder at the thought.

But it’s a funny thing, people are tired of the anger and acrimony. The more strident Trump becomes nearing Election Day, the more people tune him out.

The presidency of Donald John Trump is a white American problem. No amount of marching in the streets, protests by Black Lives Matter protesters, night-time demonstrations, riots, looting, vandals or bullsheit news coverage both online and off will decide this election.

White America will decide this election.

Multi-cultural America is suffering growing pains. The entire world is watching as America struggles to decide what kind of country it wants to be.

 

I grew up adjacent to The 1812 Hwy, a classic sunken road in Oxburg, Maryland left over from the Civil War. At football games, our high school cheerleaders would lead us in a chant: “Push ‘em back, push ‘em back, way-y-y-y-y back!” At the Republican National Convention of 2020, I hear a lot of cheerleading.

Personally, I think Donald J. Trump is a dud. He’s like a faulty Chinese firecracker, fuse sputtering, releasing white smoke and sparks, but zero bang. What he does do, signing Executive Orders, invariably turns into an unmitigated disaster. This reality is a given, just ask the people of Atlantic City, New Jersey. The man is a failed businessman who survived six bankruptcies. “That shows I’m smart,” brays Donald J. Trump.

No, sir. That shows U R an a-hole.

Trump’s tweet storms have ignited the country.

So I wasn’t under any illusions going into the Republican Convention.

I sat watching the Democratic Convention on TV with a feeling of dread, hoping against hope that they would just squeak through without blowing up the candy store. Eureka! They did it. The streets are filled with Black Lives Matter protesters, but the Democrats maintained message discipline. Which was a good thing. It meant fewer gaffes, less cannon fodder for the Republican attack dogs to gnaw on.

I fully ascribe to whatever complaints were leveled at the Democratic National Convention. We are who we are, warts and all. AOC, bless her heart, never got the memo, seconding the nomination of Bernie Sanders at a convention celebrating the selection of Joe Biden to lead the party in November. Yes, there’s a left wing to the Democratic Party, waving copies of Das Kapital by Karl Marx, but I experience that as a good thing. They add leaven to the bread.

We Democrats never said we were perfect.

The Republicans, on the other hand, consider themselves perfect. Donnie only speaks in superlatives: His is the greatest economy in history, he has the largest crowds and best TV ratings, only the very best people work in his administration. Mo’ better. But as Obama explained in his excellent critique leveled at Trump during the DNC Convention, The Donald has never fully engaged in the work. Clueless, he never gets the job done. Instead, El Trumpo spends an inordinate amount of time watching Fox News, tweeting, and speaking at press conferences and rallies, bragging about his accomplishments. If Obama the professor drove us to distraction during his presidency by constantly mansplaining, El Trumpo drives us crazy with his endless bragging. Childish behavior by any other name is still a pain in the butt.

My Tweets

Is that an elephant I hear TRUMPeting in the distance? Welcome to the March of the Dodo Birds.

Donald John Trump tells us climate change is a hoax invented by China, Mexicans are murderers & rapists and there was no Russian interference in the 2016 election. Trump puts children in cages, yet this GOP Convention calls him a hero.

THIS JUST IN: Unconfirmed report that President Trump will address convention on Day Four. In Russian!

Blond, blue-eyed Natalie Harp from California, pretty & compelling, tells us that if not for President Trump, we would all be living in Pottersville. “It’s a Wonderful Life” is a good metaphor, Natalie, but slightly misplaced: No one more closely resembles Mr. Potter than real estate mogul Donald John Trump!

 

NOTE: Listening to Ms. Harp, one is bowled over. As sweet as a Spring morning, she claims she owes her very life to President Trump. His Right-To-Try legislation gave her access to the medicine that defeated her bone cancer. Wow! What can you say to that??? It feels a little suspicious that she is part of Trump’s reelection campaign, but after all, maybe they like each other. Then I read a thread by a medical professional who points out that her treatments took place before RTT was even passed, that the meds Natalie used were already approved by the Food and Drug Administration, that she and The Donald participated together in a previous forum, and that only about 10 people in the whole wide world have in fact been treated under Right-To-Try. Apparently the drug companies want no part of unclinical trials that would leave them open to litigation.

 

These people are salesmen and saleswomen, selling us the Trump brand. Ms. Harp’s ready smile, widening of the eyes and unbridled sincerity is a performance. Ugh! Another snake oil salesperson in the long list of disappointments in the Trump universe.

[ Re the McCloskeys ] What is wrong with this picture? It’ll be a miracle if he doesn’t accidentally shoot his wife. Textbook example of how NOT to handle a firearm.

Don Jr gave an incredible performance: he preached like a televangelist, lectured us about freedom and quoted Thomas Jefferson. Don Jr’s worldview, however, leads to Jim Crow segregation, gun massacres and lynchings. Nostalgia for a bloodstained past. FREEDOM! For white people.

When Don Jr begins quoting Thomas Jefferson at me, I have had enough.

What branch of the military has Melania joined, since she was dressed in olive drab? Smart, the media knew her costume was a provocation and ignored it. But seeing her dressed like that felt like a throwback to Germany in the 1930’s.

(I’m not the only one on Twitter who finds Melania’s garb inappropriate. One tweet declares that her brownshirt uniform was the message. Nicely put.)

If we were curious about what the Trump children are really like, they have done us the favor of introducing themselves. Trust fund babies lecturing the middle class about the omnipotence of their father.

Bring on the clowns!

Where do they get this SOCIALISM straw man? Apparently das Trumf volk really believe they are in a time warp battle against sozialismus. Bernie Sanders & the Gang of Four are radicals but they don’t rule the Democrats. Political opponents are not enemies. It’s called democracy.

Mike Pence, I cannot hear what you are saying because what you are speaks so loudly.

[ Day Three, Pence speech at Ft McHenry, Maryland ] Good speech. Enough with the riots. But why are these young Americans rioting? Perhaps they are fed up with police brutality, racism and President Trump’s abusive taunts. Stop the violence, Mr. Vice President, but offer an alternative. What’s the plan, Mike?

Daughter-in-law Lara Trump describes a wonderful, helpful, kind and generous man, who only wants the best for every American. That’s great! I would be delighted to meet such a person. Unfortunately, that’s not the meanness & venom this country has experienced in the last three and a half years.

You give love a bad name.

If I hear one more person describe Trump as a successful businessman, I am going to hurl. Six bankruptcies, Trump is NOT a successful businessman. He is a con artist salesman posing as a businessman.

The Revenge of the Blondes, after years of being the butt of “dumb blonde” jokes, blond women have been chosen almost exclusively by the Trump Reelection Committee to speak on the president’s behalf. Beware the red dress!

If DJT had any cajones, he would stand up and shout “YES! I am a barroom brawler & proud of it!” Instead, we get his children’s putrid portrait of a lovey-dovey father figure, all sweetness & light. Yuk!

So I ask you: When is Trump finally going to show us his birth certificate?

A vaccine by the New Year? Don’t try to buy milk with that phony $3 bill.

What jungle does that Tarzan reside in?

Dems give “free reign to violent anarchists, agitators and criminals who threaten our citizens” says DJ Trump. Moi? A violent anarchist?

Was this speech transcribed from the original Russian?

I Got Mine

What do all of the speakers have in common? A philosophy of “I got mine!” They are the children of good fortune, but as Maximo Alvarez says, they aren’t going to let anyone take their wealth away from them.

Mark and Patricia McCloskey with their 52-room house (according to Dan Zak in The Washington Post) in St. Louis, Missouri, warn us that if we elect a Democrat as president, there goes the neighborhood! We’ll have anarchy and chaos on our streets, the defunding of police, and the ending of cash bail, so criminals can get out of jail to riot once again.  According to the McCloskeys, the Dems support radicals who want to abolish suburbs altogether! By changing the zoning laws, ending single family home zoning, they’ll bring crime, lawlessness and low-quality apartments into now-thriving suburban neighborhoods. Says Pat McCloskey. Under Democratic rule, they insist, we’ll experience what they did:  An out-of-control mob of radicals roaming the streets of suburbia with bullhorns, screaming “You can’t stop the revolution!”

An apocalyptic vision, to say the least.

The McCloskeys are lawyers. Like Trump, they sue people left, right and center. Mark destroyed beehives adjacent to their property belonging to a religious day school and then threatened the congregation with a restraining order. Scratch the surface and you find a lot of these seemingly attractive people who are giving testimonials turn out to be pretty unpleasant characters. Not kind, not nice, uncivil. Aggressive and egocentric.

Most shocking is that every last speaker at the RNC Convention seems to have drunk the Kool-Aid: Whether black or white, these privileged individuals appear to truly believe that their place in life is at the top of the food chain, that the silver spoon is theirs for the asking, and that hordes of socialist terrorists are preparing to take over this country.

These people are selling us their brand of America, almost a parody, where they are top dog— through hard work, talent, luck, wealth and, in some cases,  family connections— while the rest of us mediocrities slave away in penal servitude to the top 1%, the big capitalists.

It’s true that we political operatives are cynical and view the entire world as performance. During the convention, disturbingly, I keep expecting to see the little red and white box in the lower right hand corner of the screen announcing “As Seen On TV.” Have I stumbled onto a mutant form of campaign coverage as presented by the shopping channel?

WAIT! Trust fund babe Ivanka Trump speaks on behalf of “the people.” She tells us that real estate billionaire Donald J. Trump is “the people’s president.” Are you kiddin’ me? And that hair! Well, at least Ivanka got her dad’s middle initial right. Although it was touch and go there for a second.

Disappointments being what they are, Donald J. Tяump never did address the amerikanskii people in the original Russian. It might have added clarity to his presentation. (Nyet! Yust yoking!)

Vaccine?

You don’t even need to listen to the speech to know that Trump— the endless huckster— will float the idea of a vaccine for Covid-19— AGAIN! This time, maybe, who knows… maybe it’ll even be ready before the New Year. A miraculous vaccine, best in the world. Definitely before the New Year. Maybe.

That is the topic on everyone’s mind, so, of course, that is where he makes the night’s emptiest promises.

Less testing.

Stick our heads in the sand and it’ll disappear. POOF! Like a miracle.

Oh, WAIT! That line didn’t work last time either.

So now the miracle vaccine is somehow linked to reelecting El Trumpo. I mean, the world is working on a cure, we are going to get a vaccine eventually. Meanwhile, we can put Old Donnie the bull artist out to pasture.

Nixon promised that if elected, he had a secret plan to end the Vietnam war.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Trump is going to release his tax statements… real soon!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Don’t misunderstand me, this is standup comedy of the highest order. Listen closely and you’ll realize that Trump is being ironic. He’s yust yoking! There’s no vaccine, he’s purposely mixing positive thinking with voodoo wish fulfillment. He’s being ironic. It’s the South Lawn of the White House, Day Four of the convention, everybody’s tired. Adding a little levity to a somber occasion, The Donald is joking around. Vaccine up yer ass, bubba!

Upon leaving the White House, once outside the fence enclosure, attendees get harassed by a dozen angry young protesters.  Reap the whirlwind. People shout in their faces. We’re in a very sad state of disunion, witnessing the dismantling of America. It’s 9:30 in the morning in the Kremlin. Putin must be pleased. At least the weather is good.

Tяump

 Donald John Trump is methodically dismantling American government and American society. A full-time Russian agent couldn’t do a more thorough job. Intelligence reports indicate that during the 2016 election campaign, the Trump team had contact at least 140 times with Russian nationals and Wikileaks or their intermediaries. Facts on the ground, this is upsetting stuff.

Then there are those disturbing photos of Trump on May 10, 2017 in the Oval Office yukking it up with the Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov  and Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak. Once viewed, those images, provided by the Russian news agency TASS, are hard to forget.

At the 2018 Russia – United States Summit on July 16 in Helsinki, Finland, Trump spoke privately with Vladimir Putin for almost two hours with only a single female interpreter present. We still don’t know what they discussed during those 120 minutes. Dachas? Trump Tower Moskva? Later, at their joint press conference, Trump said Putin denied interfering in the 2016 presidential election and that Trump believed Putin’s denial. This caused an uproar worldwide. The next day, Trump “corrected” his previous statement.

Nobody can sue a sitting president, but a sitting president can sue everybody. No one is immune from prosecution except the president. No one is above the law except the president. You can impeach him, but you cannot find him guilty. Nor can he be removed from office. Such is the law in Tяump’s America. Trump is litigious and nobody wants to get sued, so everyone has kept their mouths shut, leaving America’s democratic way of life hanging by a thread. Dousing the fire with gasoline, on September 27, 2020, the Showtime network will begin airing The Comey Rule, a two-part drama that raises the question whether Donald J. Trump is a Russian asset. Five weeks before the election. Unless there’s an injunction.

 

The GOP, the Grand Old Party—  also known as the Republicans— is holding its convention in Charlotte, North Carolina. Four days, part in person and part online.  A quadrennial event, it’s a real March of the Dodo Birds. Is that a Republican elephant I hear TRUMPeting in the distance?

They have now released the line-up of speakers. Who are these strange people representing the Trump administration?

Also, life moves fast: More than one senior official is suddenly abandoning ship, moseying on, taking things in a different direction, now that the latent smell of defeat begins to inhabit the Trump reelection effort.

Last week, Trump and his surrogates lambasted the Democratic Convention because it emphasized character over policy. “They never presented their program for America,” Trump officials complained to the press on the Sunday morning talk shows. “All they did was attack President Trump.” The prez himself called the DNC convention a dark presentation filled with gloom and doom.

That’s not what I saw! Kamala Harris made a point of valiantly smiling during her speech. Smile, smile! Precisely to counter any accusation that she is an ABF, an Angry Black Woman. Joe Biden made it a point to speak calmly and reasonably about unity in these UNITED STATES of America. He asked us to turn away from the darkness and embrace the light.

When blowhard Strump held his next press conference at the White House, acting as belligerent as ever, the contrast felt striking between the way things once were and what we have now. Wow! Talk about nostalgia.

The Trump people promised that their convention would present an optimistic program for America’s future. Which I and everyone else awaited with baited breath, considering the line-up of speakers. Not many of whom can be called blithe spirits.

Trump himself made a “surprise” visit to the convention center in Charlotte on this first day. He proceeded to give a rambling 50-minute speech, bellyaching about all the same old soap, painting his opponent Joe Biden in myriad putrid colors, lying and exaggerating. The only thing missing was an optimistic program for America’s future! They forgot that one. Well, d’oh.

THIS JUST IN: An unconfirmed report claims that President Trump will speak on Day Four of the convention. In Russian!

(This last joke bombed on Twitter. Like, major blowback. Sorry about that.)

 

Kev

 

Forget the White Vote!

 White folks will not vote for Kamala Harris. I say this with great regret, but it’s true.

She is an ABW, an Angry Black Woman.

She is from California.

She is super-liberal.

She is another candidate with an Arab-sounding name.

The lady has an uppity attitude.

She does not play well with others.

Her primary campaign fell apart = she can’t get elected dogcatcher. (Not to disparage dogcatchers.)

White folks are still smarting from eight years of Obama.

 

The lesson of Trump is that the hinterlands don’t want far-out liberal candidates. Love her, hate her or feel undecided, Kamala is a liberal fringe candidate. Forget about her ever getting the white vote.

White Americans are going to vote as a bloc and that bloc is not going for the Biden-Harris ticket. Way to go, Dems! Are you going to shoot yourselves in the other foot?

Having relinquished the largest voting bloc, the Democrats’ road to victory consists of rallying and getting registered every single minority vote out there, Latino, black, Asian, liberal, Jewish, Catholic, you name it. Rally the Minorities!

 

Be well, stay safe!

(Although currently inactive, one of my hats is political consultant, often to underdog candidates. My track record is 50% wins and 50% losses.)

 

Florid-19

From our correspondent

This whole pandemic thing is a joax! That’s halfway between a joke and a hoax. There ain’t no such aminal as Rosie Corona, somebody just took that name from Paul Simon’s “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard.”

Donald Trump is the King of Queens. Think about it. He’s king and he’s from Queens.

This whole pandemic thing is just the Deep State using the mainblame media to defeat Donald Grump’s reelection chances. It’s so obvious! 127,621 deaths my ass! WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES?! See, see! Name 356 of them, I dare you! I want a list of the names, addresses, phone numbers, social security numbers, credit card numbers, the name as listed on the card and the nifty little three-digit security code on the back of each card. Then MAYBE I’ll consider the possibility, but you know, it’s all overblown and exaggerated anyway.

I mean, you don’t REALLY believe PARIS, FRANCE was in lockdown, do you? Come on! I know of at least one brew pub on Rue d’Alsace that would never close down. They stayed open during the Nazi occupation, you really think they’d close for some microscopic microbe? Mosby’s Raiders never cancelled a raid because of some microscopic microbe!

I have been abducted by aliens from another planet. They won’t tell me which, but I keep asking. Currently we are en route over the continental United States traveling from one hot spot to another, mostly in the south and southwest, which also just so happens to be where the corona 19 virus is playing havoc. Many of these states have Republican governors, but you don’t see me linking THE FACT THAT THERE’S A REBUPLICAN GOVERNOR and the, you know, PAMDENIC. Perublican governors. And many of them are good people.

And what about JOE BIDEN???  I don’t see him leading the charge up San Juan Hill. Hunkered down in his underground bunker like, you know, Hetlir and Goebbels and Hiutler’s dog Blondi, a really good dog, but the cyanide got him in the end as it does us all. The cyanide of life, so to speak. When life gives you bitter almonds, suspect cyanide. Biden should be leading this country! Holy shite, what am I saying??? What I mean is, just look at what it would look like if Joe Biden had been president since last January! Just think about it. Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State (again!), Ben Ghazzi as coronavirus czar, Hunter Biden as Secretary of the Treasury and presidential advisor Ivanka Trump as a holdover from the previous administration. I mean, just think about that. I’d be quaking in my undies if I was a microscopic microbe, I can assure you.

Anybody would.

Well, we’re flying over the state of Florida and things don’t look so hot. Oh, wait, now we’re zooming in on the telescreen, and yes, there it is, A PEDESTRIAN WEARING A FACE MASK! See! Lookee there! You seen one, you seen ‘em all. High marks to Governor DeSantis! Way to go, Ron Ron!

Will this op-ed change the course of history? Of course it will! I have bribed a White House cleaning lady to slip a copy into the President’s Daily Brief, the top security PDB that lands on his desk every morning. Although Conchita warns me that I may have wasted my $20, since the president doesn’t always read the darn thing. Damn!

Confederate symbols must be maintained! You can’t defeat a pandemic by tearing down statues! People paid good money to build those memorials. Respect of property is a backbone of capitalism. What do you have otherwise? Anarchy. Leftwing, socialist thugs. Carnage. Oh wait, not carnage, that’s one of Trump’s favorite words. And some of those Confederate generals were good people.

So someone in a golf cart shouted “white powder!” on a video. Big deal! White powder is a skiing term referring to freshly fallen snow. White powder = ideal skiing conditions.

You complain that these salutes to our Confederate past are “a legacy of white domination.” Well, hold on! Under what circumstances would this be all right? I mean, I hope we’re talking a porcelain-skinned, stocky blond dominatrix with piercing blue eyes, dressed in high heels and black leather, carrying a whip and swatting the air with a brown leather riding crop. Dominate me, you bitch!!!

Listen, I liked El Trumpo’s July 4th speech. When Trump says the coronavirus will just disappear, people, he’s being sarcastic! Cripes! Don’t you get it? HE’S JOKING!!! Disappear, disappear. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It’s a joke! Get a sense of humor, White House press corps! Jeez sleaze.

I am not White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany, it is not my job to defend the president’s racially insensitive outbursts. I just suspect that sometimes the prez— just like the rest of us—occasionally has a bad day. He tweets stuff in order to vent. To get things off his chest. To put stuff behind him. Nixon had his Dictabelt machine. Trump has Twitter. Same difference.

Spread love! This country will be a better place for it. Paying for love is, unfortunately, also a reality, but the unpaid kind is a lot better.

Peace!

Stärker Daniel, Sollentuna

 

Maryland, Oh Maryland

Here’s the deal. The Maryland state song, “Maryland, My Maryland,” is a relic of the Civil War. Written in 1861 by Baltimore native and Confederate sympathizer James Ryder Randall, the song lyrics urge Marylanders to secede from the Union, join the Confederacy and battle the “Northern scum.”

For over 40 years, politicians in Annapolis have tried to abolish or replace “Maryland, My Maryland.” With the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis and subsequent national protests, the Maryland legislature is once again considering scrapping the song.

As a patriotic Son of Maryland, I hereby submit my easy-peasy substitution, harking back to the original, but also aware of the modern times in which we live.

 

*************** Maryland, Oh Maryland **************

 

You, our Southern belle of fun

Maryland!

Giggle in our midst a ton

Maryland!

Even under the midday sun

Your blue-eyed glance doth stun

Every single son of a gun

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Our battle flag held aloft so sure

Maryland!

Swift of stirrup, free of burr

Maryland!

A champion so sleek and pure

She causes our dear hearts to stir

And all the horsemen knew her

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Lest our past become a chore

Maryland!

And epic tales be heard no more

Maryland!

Of Grant and Lee, such a bore

How uncivil was the war

That shook the nation to its core

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Slave state, free state, pick a side

Maryland!

Poe came to Balto but he died

Maryland!

Not from lynching but a long sad slide

A maudlin drunk he was quite pie-eyed

And after his death many people lied

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

For you, young souls are pining

Maryland!

We see you smile, blond tresses shining

Maryland!

Every cloud has a silver lining

’Though Confederate statues leave us whining

And don’t forget to kiss my heinie

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

 

Finally a chart buster!

“Back in the Pandemic.” 4:36. Recorded live in the studio by the Swedish duo realPfft with a guest guitarist, a guest drummer and a guest producer. Also, an audio engineer with issues. This is take 9 of 16 takes recorded over a three day period. By the last take, all the noisy blemishes had been cleaned up, the impossible guitar had been tamed and the Chinese gong no longer blew the walls out. Unfortunately, the song was no longer any fun.

Boring.

Despite the coronavirus, realPfft’s business manager was visiting from the States. He had gotten a good price on his plane ticket. Now he was unhappy and he said as much. Insisting on his right to listen to all sixteen takes, he came to take number 9 and said, “There it is. That’s the song! What have you been doing the last day and a half?”

Bands have broken up over less, but these are all Swedes and they like one another. Agreeing that take 9 needed more treble, that’s all they added, leaving everything else alone. Unrefined. With a nod to the Beatles, a punk rock sense of rebellion and singer Clive Flatenbad channeling Joy Division, here is realPfft’s “Back in the Pandemic.”

Cover photo from singer Clive Flatenbad’s archive. Club Ultra, Handen, Sweden.

Best regards!

Kev

Liar… pants on fire!

Big bad DJ can’t get his facts straight to save his butt. His schtick do get old.

Being a klutz, I learned early on to say “Mea culpa, my bad, mea maxima culpa, my totally bad. My fault!”

Donnie Trump learned PR and litigation from New York lawyer and political fixer Roy Cohn… whose philosophy was “Never admit error, always double down.” Not a very smart idea if you want to make friends and influence people.

Meanwhile, Trump cannot differentiate between facts on the ground and his personal  beliefs. His view of the world doesn’t correspond with a lot of other people’s view of the world. Not to put too fine a point on it, you could almost call him a

If you wonder why my ship never reaches port, here’s a typical example. A totally dynamite song by the Swedish band realPfft, “Pandemic!” came out at the beginning of April. Only it started off with a bad copy. This had never happened to us before. We had already released 40 songs, the big 4-0, and our distributor had never missed. Well, I learned not to submit our songs on Sunday evenings when the computers get overloaded.

Suddenly we needed to redistribute the song, which took three weeks. Okay, but then I got sick. A great song that should have been America’s new national anthem and almost nobody heard it!

So from now on, I am going to have routines and follow them as I live and breathe.

Enjoy!

Kev