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Don’t Cry for Me, Palestina

[ This interim report constitutes a single chapter in a book-length project. ]

Three cheers for the pro-Palestinian protesters occupying college campuses all across the United States! No one is as well-informed and well-meaning as they. You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs and today’s young people on college campuses are angry for change.

It all feels a little unreal. Cultural appropriation at maximum level, these are white people and blacks parading as Palestinians. They don’t speak Arabic. Squatters, their plastic tents look nothing like the refugee camps in Gaza. Masks on their faces, their heads are wrapped in black and white checkered head scarves, even if no one has taught them how to properly fold and wear a keffiyeh.   

The Fédération Internationale d’Occupation gives each encampment a G-rating, starting with lowest-ranked “Meh” and ascending to award-winning “Holy Shit!” Columbia, for example, came in at a penultimate top rating of “Oh, Wow!” Criteria include speed of erecting encampment, use of plywood barriers, contents of arsenal, toilet facilities, chants, media contact, number of arrests and the overall size and cleanliness of the site. While sheer size is the major determinate— bigger is always better— chanted slogans, handling of the media and the number of arrests can have a direct impact on the final decision to award a particular rating. So far, there have been more than 2,500 arrests made at 60 different universities and colleges. UVa has a somewhat boring encampment, but with the arrest of 25 students, it still garnered an “Oh, Wow!” rating based mostly on past performance.

Competition is fierce, especially among top tier universities.

Thanks to the ubiquity of social media, encampments are instantly aware of changes made at other locations across the country. When Columbia saw violent clashes at UCLA grabbing media attention, the protesters in New York decided to regain supremacy by occupying Hamilton Hall, a campus building. As in chess, each player tries to outfox their competitors with tricky tactics and new slogans. Palestinian students have the added incentive of protesting the hellscape in Gaza.          

That the protesters’ primary focus is the carnage in Gaza is a typically false narrative used as a smokescreen to hide their true intent, which is the eradication of Jews and the overthrow of the Judeo-Christian tradition in the West, in favor of an Islamic caliphate. It makes sense that they harbor an authority complex: These young activists will be saddled with the mess left over from the missteps of current governments all over the globe. Student activists in the 1960’s shouted “Burn it all down!” Today’s vanguard chants “Globalize the Intifada,” which is basically the same thing, a fiery resistance movement for whom the only acceptable outcome is the total destruction of the existing power structure worldwide.

Is that all?    

No one has any right to criticize these young freedom-fighters. Their grievances are real: A $60,000-a-year college tuition is no joke.

It’s a little hard to speak out against the student activists when their teachers and the mainstream media egg them on. In what may be a first, the teachers and faculty of Manhattan’s New School, thinking outside the box, have set up an anti-Israel encampment inside a campus building. Six nylon tents in a row in assorted colors, it looks like an art installation. Rating: Meh.

When they chant “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!” the protesters are, of course, referring to the River Nile and the Red Sea. Voracious, militant and long-suffering, the Gazans want to be the canary who swallowed the cat: Skipping the arid Sinai Peninsula entirely, they want to appropriate Sahara el Sharqîya, the entire eastern seaboard of Egypt, with Luxor as their capital. Tricky.

No friend of Israel, Ethiopia recognized Palestine on February 4, 1989.

The Palestinians in Gaza are only too glad to get the support of college students everywhere. As they say in Sweden, “I’m not antisemitic, I’m pro-Palestinian.”  

The pro-Palestinian activists on our college campuses are learning important life lessons like how to spit on Jews, kick Jewish students, diss the media, occupy buildings and trash libraries. While the unenlightened bourgeoisie among today’s students focus on final exams, graduation ceremonies and securing summer internships, the pro-Palestinian protesters gird for a major disruption of the Democratic National Convention in Chicago in August. Chicago, of all places! Google “1968 democratic convention protests” to see history repeat itself.

At both California’s Occidental College and Pomona College, Jewish and Israeli students have been verbally harassed, physically surrounded, followed, threatened and intimidated by protestors, who have shouted “Go back to the gas chambers!” “Kike!” “Fucking Jew!” “Fucking Zionist!” and “Murderer!”

Extra points for the protestor who gave a Hitler salute in front of Jewish students during a demonstration at the University of Wisconsin in Madison. While not a new phenomenon, it shows that some demonstrators know their history. Signage at DePaul University in Chicago includes the gem “Netanyahu is a modern day Hitler and Biden is his b****.” Someone is a poli sci major! Kudos.   

The fun isn’t limited to colleges, as big brother’s and big sister’s activism gets copied at the high school level. A pro-Palestinian riot took place at Hillcrest High School in New York. A Jewish teacher was the victim of a targeted attack at a school in Sheepshead Bay. The New York City school district has suspended 30 students for “unacceptable acts of antisemitism” and a dozen staffers have been disciplined.

Guilty secret, I too have been a demonstrator! When coffee pods caught on in 2004, I spent my Saturdays and Sundays at the local supermarket, demonstrating pod-based coffee makers. Takes one to know one!   

Overworked and looking at video footage, I am forced to ask: Don’t these young people have anything better to do all afternoon than sit among their tents on the quad popping speed and toking marijuana? To deny rampant drug use among these pot heads is another false narrative.

Considering that 99% of the demonstrators have never set foot in Gaza, that doesn’t stop them from being thoroughly convinced of the infallibility of their opinions. They feel strongly. They share the conviction that Third World people are suffering. They envision a “Free Palestine”— with no Jews and no Israel. Despite the murder, rape, torture, dismemberment, burning, pillage and hostage-taking carried out by Gaza militants on October 7, these students from the American middle class see Israel as the aggressor! “What about the 13,000 (or 30,000 or whatever fantasy figure the Health Ministry in Hamas-run Gaza comes up with) Palestinian dead?” they complain. Never having served in the military or experienced combat, these youngsters do not understand that war is hell and that there are casualties. It’s 5,675 miles from Columbia University to Gaza City. It’s 7,584 miles from UCLA to Khan Yunis. These protesters should hop a plane, go there and see for themselves. Instead, they occupy their college campuses and they riot. They don’t know what they are talking about.

Even ignoring Arabs’ long history of difficulty dealing with the truth, the Gazan Health Ministry’s outlandish claim of 30,000-plus deaths is a crock of shit. It never happened. Here is your false narrative exposed to the light of reason: Step back a second and look critically at this Big Lie. Thirty thousand dead bodies don’t disappear like a wisp of smoke. Where are they?! That many dead would be stacked like cord wood. There would be endless photographs and video, just like in the concentration camps after the Holocaust. We’re TOLD that they were stacked in the corridors of Al-Shifa Hospital, but the rest is a pipe dream. It wouldn’t matter that the Palestinians exaggerate, but all these marching young people protesting on college campuses complain of the disproportionate casualty rates, when it simply is not true. There aren’t even any lists with the names of the deceased. No bodies, no photographs, no names, just an empty claim. Shame on you, Gazans, for being liars. Congratulations on harnessing this worthless claim and turning it into golden propaganda!

When the protestors claim that Jews are “white colonizers” of Palestine, they’re full of bilge. Colonizers, colonizers, more than two thirds of Israel’s 9.2 million citizens are people of color from lands across the Middle East, Europe and Africa. Mizrahi from Arabia, Sephardi from Spain and Portugal, black Jews from Ethiopia.

Anyone accusing the Israelis of genocide shows their unfamiliarity with urban warfare. Genocide is the extermination of a people, something which the Israelis have gone to great lengths to avoid. Genocide is the Nazi war machine systematically killing 6 million Jews during World War Two, the Turks wiping out Armenians in 1915, Hutu militias murdering the Tutsi in 1994 during the Rwanda Civil War. Yes, the Israeli war effort has caused a mass migration in Gaza; the majority of the population has been displaced. But no one is carpet bombing their tent cities, no one is strafing civilian population on the roads. It is the Israelis who use roof-knocking bombs, noisemakers that land on the roof of an apartment house, warning the residents that they have only minutes to evacuate before the building is bombed. The IDF’s war is with Hamas, not the civilian population of Gaza. The Israelis warn the civilian population in advance before carrying out military operations. They do what they can to avoid civilian casualties. Yes, shit happens. Seven members of José Andrés’ World Central Kitchen were killed in a night airstrike. Accidents are no proof of genocide.           

While the encampments on college campuses are full of hot air, the effects of global warming cannot be entirely ignored. Intermittent flooding has been reported in some areas.

Young militants claim their revolution is led by angry out-groups, but if you want to know who is behind these protests, follow the money trail: SimSalaBim Palestinian Flag Co. of Qatar, Keffiyeh Looms, Inc., Americana Tent Company, Apex Mask Apparel and Luxe Megaphones. “Kapitalismus über alles,” as Karl Marx would say.

The liberal left-wing media is appalled that police have used riot gear, tactical vehicles and flash-bang devices to clear tent encampments and school buildings occupied by the activists. What happened to freedom, equality, human rights, social progress, justice reform and international solidarity? These virtues must not be impeded, just because some anti-Israel demonstrators are disrupting campus life, threatening fellow students, painting swastikas on the doors to the dorm rooms of Jews and tramping on the Israeli flag in public. Where is police solidarity with the working class? Long live Yasser Arafat, who popularized the black-and-white checkered keffiyeh headscarf!

[ A separate chapter will deal with American mainstream media’s narrative about the poor little Palestinians getting beaten up by the big bad Jews. Palestinians are murdering rapists. That sad history will also be covered in a separate chapter. ]

An unexpected occurrence in New York City and Portland, Oregon is the influx of homeless people onto college campuses. Taking advantage of a fluid situation, they erect their own tents among those of the protestors. To the students’ credit, they shrug off these interlopers as meaningless excess baggage and unimportant to the Palestinian cause. One direct result of this occupation within the occupation has been that the number of actual students arrested on campus is constantly only a fraction of the total number of persons incarcerated.

Playtime in a sandbox, filled with self-importance, these kids are having a blast, giving the bird to the authorities. Often, their demands include that all disciplinary action against demonstrators be expunged from their university transcripts. 

Enduring such protests, the question every university administration must ask itself is this: Is it better to expel 150 Palestinian exchange students and take back the campus or should they cave to the pressure of left-wing institutions and the media, letting the occupiers call the shots? Who are the grown-ups in the room and who is the 800 lb. gorilla?

Dr. Jill Stein, presidential candidate for the Green Party, announced on X on April 27 that she, her campaign manager and her deputy campaign manager were among 100 people arrested while trying to set up an encampment at Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri. It will be interesting to see how presidential candidates use the continuing turmoil to their advantage during the upcoming campaign season. If Dr. Stein manages to monopolize the Muslim vote, she could well siphon off support that Biden desperately needs to get re-elected.

The good news is that even arrested demonstrators from encampments with a low rating of “Meh” have been invited to visit Congress by House of Representative members Rashida Tlaib of Michigan and Cori Bush of Missouri. “Those who refuse to stop the genocide in Gaza think they can arrest and brutalize their way out of this,” said Bush at a news conference on the steps of the Capitol with five of the students who had been arrested. Afterwards, a young man with long brown hair, a bush hat, extensive piercings and dressed in baggy jeans paraded in front of the Capitol chanting “Go back to Poland!” and waving a sign saying “END the WAR in VIET NAM.”

Looking abroad, we see that the coastal town of Malmö in southern Sweden is hosting the 68th edition of the Eurovision Song Contest. Under Palestinian flags and the banner NEJ TILL FOLKMORD (“No to Genocide”), 12,000 protesters marched on May10th to the concert venue at Malmö Arena in the center of the city. Among the protestors was climate activist Greta Thunberg. Accusing Eurovision of allowing Israel to “artwash” its image, fans and musicians have called for Israel to be banned from the contest. More protests are expected as the contest finals approach. The Swedes are hosting because they won last year. Around 180 million people all over Europe and Asia will watch the grand finale live on TV. Claiming to be politically neutral, politics has always lurked under the surface of Eurovision. In 2022, Ukraine won with the heart-breaking anti-invasion rap song “Stefania,” while Russia was banned from the proceedings. This year, Israel’s entry in the song competition is called “Hurricane,” based on the October 7 attack. The protesters ask why the West cares so deeply about Ukrainians but not Palestinians. Maybe because the Ukrainians aren’t murdering rapists. The choices life gives us are seldom easy. Queers for Palestine have called on Britain’s entry to boycott the event.

Paris, France is such a disappointment. Tent villages spread around the city are full of migrant workers from Africa and Asia seeking asylum and employment, yet few of them are willing to risk deportation by joining the students in front of Sciences Po University to protest la guerre en Gaza.

Mountaineers huddle inside their yellow, single-walled tents pitched on the South face of Mt. Everest. They act as if Gaza is three thousand miles away. Which it is.    

Meanwhile, on the ground in Gaza, Israel is forced to invade Rafah to ferret out and destroy the underground leadership of Hamas. With Hamas’ threat of continuous repetitions of the October 7th terrorist attack, anything less is untenable. Once Hamas is defeated, the Israelis and Gazans will return to an uneasy co-existence, rebuilding the Gaza Strip amongst the wreckage, this time without tunnels and rockets.      

The first six letters of “demonstrators” spell “demons.” The lasting damage is that by their actions, these pro-Palestinian demonstrators are ushering in the quick and easy re-election of Donald Trump.

To claim anything less is a false narrative.

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political satire

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Penguin Mania

Yellow sunshine fills the sky. The fall weather is unseasonably warm. It’s early in November and 34 residents of Washington, DC stand on the Observation Tower of Dulles International Airport, waving goodbye to the last of the pandas. Dressed in panda-inspired knitted caps, their hearts are breaking as they press against one another and hold hands, already pining for their missing teddy bears. Frantically loyal, they seriously wonder what will become of the panda habitat so assiduously created at the National Zoo, now that its inhabitants are being repatriated to China.  

They need not worry. Locating an Italian manufacturer of snowmaking equipment in the Tyrol and flying one of its machines across the ocean, within two weeks, the zoo proudly announces that it has been ranked as Number Four worldwide in Emperor Penguin habitat. The future looks icy bright! On the Endangered Species List, classified as Near Threatened, Emperor Penguins’ existence is being propped up by cryogenically archiving penguin DNA as well as having them breed in captivity.

As the first pair of Emperor Penguins arrives from the Antarctic, they are whisked from the airport to the zoo by Constitutional Van Lines LLC, who landed a government contract after proffering the lowest bid to Congress. All well and good, but unfortunately, not everyone gets the memo: A trio of 13-year-old carjackers from Anacostia waylay the red, white and blue Constitutional Van Lines truck and make off with its two avian passengers.

“Who has our penguins and when will we get them back?!” thunders the Style section of The Washington Post.

The penguincam at the National Zoo shows a forlorn image: A state-of-the-art orange snow gun on wheels is parked in the corner of an empty, snow-encrusted enclosure. With neither penguins nor pandas in attendance, only a nest of mice can be seen scurrying about, black squiggles on a white background.

Offering a $10,000 reward, Fiends of the Zoo manages to provide the authorities with the names and addresses of the perpetrators, who have surreptitiously stashed their captives in a refrigerated meat locker at a local grocery store. The boys feed the birds canned sardines and raw Maryland perch.

This trio of miscreants is promptly captured by the police and brought before a judge. Since they are being tried as minors, The Post withholds their names from publication, although this doesn’t stop Antoine, Reggie and Tupac from getting thoroughly doxed online.

Having defecated in every corner of the meat locker, the penguins— nicknamed Lunchcart and Boxcar— seem no worse off for their ordeal. They are transported forthwith to the zoo.

Nothing in the Nation’s Capital, however, goes in quite as straightforward a fashion as one might wish. Thoroughly fed up with the Biden administration’s support of Israel, in December of 2023, Palestinian college students from Gaza— in the U.S. on student visas— tunnel their way into the penguin enclosure and capture Boxcar. Lunchcart escapes getting taken hostage only because he is housed separately and under observation after being inoculated against bird flu.

All over the zoo, Palestinian protesters march in groups, chanting through megaphones “Ha! Ha! Hamas! From the border to the sea, Ha-Ha-Hamas is you and me!” The noise level is deafening. Young girls in traditional checkered black and white kaffiyeh look like the devilish progeny of Yasser Arafat. They hang posters on the wire cages that say “LET GAZA BE FREE AS A BIRD!”

Waving Palestinian flags, they scrawl graffiti on retaining walls. Many of them get arrested and threatened with deportation. Who has raised these radicals? They promise a whole new generation of discord in international politics.

Naturally, this hostage drama garners both headlines and worldwide indignation. It feels as if Berke Breathed’s penguin hero Opus has jumped off the pages of the comic strip Bloom County and is being chased in circles in real life.

“While America considers this to be a case of domestic terrorism,” announces the Secretary-General of the United Nations at a press conference, looking appropriately somber and serious, “the United Nations insists on providing assistance, lest this form of activism become a daily occurrence.”

A special session of the United Nations is called to order to confront the dilemma. The sun is shining on First Avenue in New York City, but it’s cold. “Terrorism is as terrorism does,” insists the American ambassador.

The government of Antarctica would protest the capture of its citizen if Antarctica had a government. Since Antarctica has no government, Israel offers to represent the fauna of the region, claiming preeminence in dealing with Palestinians. “You can count the number of anti-Hamas Gazans on the fingers of one hand,” the Israeli ambassador assures the General Assembly.

After a tumultuous debate that includes a walkout and boycott by the Gulf States, Russia is assigned the responsibility of rescuing the penguin, based on their expertise in back-channel, underhanded double-dealing. Normally, these traits would be frowned upon, but beggars can’t be choosers. “If the Palestinians misbehave, don’t look at us!” swears the Russian ambassador. “Talk to the Iranians. Hamas warriors are clients of Iran.”

Everyone agrees that choosing Russia as negotiator is not a perfect solution, but it’s an acceptable compromise under trying circumstances.

The Russians and the Palestinians meet at the Rosemont Day Spa in the Catskills. Taking the Palestinian negotiators prisoner, the Russians pump sleeping gas into their quarters and storm the building. Using brute force, they rescue Boxcar. Unfortunately, the penguin succumbs to injuries sustained during her liberation.

It is at this point that noted theologian Meyer Bahnhof enters the picture, claiming from Lagos, Portugal that penguins are “the Chosen Ones,” anointed by God. Banned on many social media platforms for his rabidly Zionist outbursts, Bahnhof goes on Reddit and prophesizes a telepathic link between the thought processes of penguins and Artificial Intelligence. When asked, A.I. confirms this hypothesis. “Behold, the Lion of Zion is a penguin!” rants the theologian. “Down with the Philistines. Delilah be damned! Yahweh rules.”

While the whole world seems to be screaming for a ceasefire in the Israel-Gaza war, almost no one is insisting that Russia accept a ceasefire in Ukraine.   

Slowly, methodically, Israel drives the Palestinians of Gaza deep into the Sinai Peninsula. For want of a better solution, the United Nations, the Gulf States, Egypt and the International Court in The Hague spearhead a humanitarian rescue operation which leaves two million Gazans as semi-permanent refugees in Egypt.

“Who needs Gaza?” ask the Israelis, taking a scorched-earth approach to Palestinian intransigence.

Global warming once again grabs the headlines. “We have plenty of water, but it’s in the wrong place,” declares the United Nations, alarmed over melting icecaps and rising sea levels. They decide to seriously curb emissions and combat global warming by the year 2055. As long as it doesn’t cost too much.

Since almost nothing is known about the mating habits of penguins, intensive study, scientific research and public scrutiny are applied to the problem. Eventually, Lunchcart and a newly-arrived female nicknamed Mayfly mate. They have a chick named Lotus Leopard, who grows up to become one of the leaders of the zoo’s Emperor Penguin colony.

Meanwhile, flummoxed by melting sea ice, Emperor Penguins in Antarctica face total extinction by the year 2100.

Mankind soon to follow.

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humor, political satire

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Hunter’s Blues

Da capo. Again. “Influence Peddling” is a tune which the Swedish rap band realPfft released in November, 2019. Hunter Biden’s never-ending soap opera breathes new life into this chestnut.

I have been keeping the Hunter Biden swamp at arm’s length. It’s a cocktail of egomania, self-centered greed, immaturity, careless foolishness, stupidity and lack of a moral compass.

Not good.

Hunter’s apologists explain that he was battling drug addiction, depression and alcoholism. Mental illness and mental anguish are terrible afflictions to behold, but neither constitutes a Get Out of Jail Free card.  

Where were the adults in the room? Joe Biden limits his knowledge of the events to a claim that he asked his son Hunter if Hunter knew what he was doing and Hunter said yes, he did.

If you are going to be this irresponsible as a parent, you deserve to reap the consequences. America is not known as a stupid country, but there is a streak of mulish stupidity in the Bidens’ behavior that is miles wide.

The “d’oh” dumbness isn’t limited to the Bidens. Just look at the mess America’s 45th president has created for himself. These people need a dog collar and someone to pull on the leash whenever they venture too close to the nearest cliff. What is wrong with these people? Taylor Swift’s drama queen persona resembles Albert Einstein in comparison to this gluttony of ineptitude.

This is another good reason for the Democratic Party to retire Joe and Kamala after four years of White House service and choose a different pair of candidates for president and vice president in 2024.

 

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Screwing with the Election

A little history. The 2016 election of Donald Trump consisted of multiple train wrecks.

A reality TV star and erstwhile businessman, DJ Trump had been in people’s living rooms for 14 seasons of The Apprentice and The Celebrity Apprentice. These programs were structured and edited by producer Mark Burnett of “Survivor” fame to make Trump appear a boardroom guru. They sold the television-addicted American people the illusion that Trump was a business genius. Trump’s five bankruptcies might say otherwise, but once people became fans, no amount of bitter reality will ever dispel their loyalty: Good season or bad, Yankee fans are Yankee fans. Trump fans love their man. The more outrageous he behaves, the more they love him!

Trump was able to convince rural and suburban white America that he— a New Yawk real estate mogul— cared about them. America’s “forgotten” men and women, smarting from liberal neglect, they flocked to Trump, who promised to be their champion. A genius at branding, he copyrighted the slogan Make America Great Again. His followers are able to read into that whatever they want.

People may not have been sold on The Donald, but they truly hated privileged, money-grubbing Bill and Hillary Clinton who shamelessly pawed home ridiculous speaking fees on the lecture circuit. A vote for Donald Trump was a vote against decadent liberal corruption.

(What a joke! Far from Draining the Swamp, Trump Inc. has turned the federal government into a cash cow. Many government employees, including the Secret Service and Vice President Pence, have stayed overnight at many Trump properties, paying top dollar. In taxpayer money. A graduate of the Wharton School of Business, Class of ’68, Trump is a genius at manipulating financial systems to his advantage.)

The media went gaga over Trump in 2016, broadcasting his rallies day and night, free of charge. Even when Trump belittled them over their fixation on ratings… “I get the best ratings!…” like lapdogs, they came trotting back for more. At one point, in a fit of pique, Trump prohibited journalists from The Washington Post from attending his morning rally. Yet, four hours later, there he was, giving a one-on-one interview to Post journalist Philip Rucker. By running for president, Trump made fools of the media.

Twitter has completely changed the communication landscape, allowing @realDonaldTrump to communicate directly with his followers anytime day or night, unfiltered and uncensored.

Glavset, The Internet Research Agency troll farm in St. Petersburg, Russia, hijacked Facebook, Twitter and other social media platforms in 2016, sowing division among Americans. Who knew? Cyber warfare, they used clever memes and fake persona. Stoking Americans’ anger, their disinformation campaigns were incredibly successful.

At the Clinton-Trump debates, Trump bullied, interrupted, lied and wandered the stage. Unprepared for his shenanigans, the moderators sat helplessly by, playing stooge to Trump’s comedian. “You’re the puppet!” shouted Donald Trump and no one called him to order. When he went walk-about on-stage, bodily threatening Hillary, no moderator politely requested that Trump return to his place at the lectern.

A dissembler, Hillary Clinton had great difficulty displaying honesty. Brittle and apprehensive, she wouldn’t even admit having pneumonia on the campaign trail until she collapsed on the sidewalk.

Like a throbbing toothache, WikiLeaks released a daily dribble of Hillary Clinton Campaign Chairman John Podesta’s emails all 30 days leading up to the election. A Russian military intelligence cyber espionage group codenamed “Fancy Bear” has been credited with the hack. More cyber warfare, these gmail missives were a total disaster, displaying the Democrats at their worst.

Ten days before the election, FBI Director James Comey announced that the bureau was re-opening the investigation into Hillary’s emails. Just when the campaign thought they had successfully left the issue of Hillary’s private email account behind them… BAM! There it was again.

Trump gamed the Electoral College brilliantly, winning the presidential election even without winning the popular vote. One vote in Wyoming is equal to 3.6 votes in California. Trump made sure to get those red state votes. That gave him the election.

Election night TV coverage completely missed the boat. It sounded like this: “…Hillary… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Michigan… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Wisconsin… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has taken Ohio… Hillary… Hillary… Hillary… Trump has won Pennsylvania and Florida…. Meanwhile, Hillary… Oh, my God! Donald John Trump is the next President of the United States of America.”

Who decides?

At 60%, White Americans are the majority.

Hispanic and Latino Americans, the largest ethnic minority, comprise 18% of the population.

African Americans comprise 13.4% of the population.

Asian Americans are 5.6% of the population.

If the election of 2020 is a last gasp of white dominance over American life, these numbers show that the minority vote alone cannot carry a national election.

On any given day, Trump has the support of 35% of the electorate. Unshakable, they are his fan base. Whether traditional Republicans, Confederate flag-waving patriots, supporters of the Second Amendment, adherents to The Lost Cause of the War Between the States, QAnon true believers or “I Got Mine” blacks and Latinos, come Hell or high water, they will vote for Trump.

Trump supporters will believe anything he says. With their short attention span, they even allow him to change his story from one press conference to the next.

As Chico of the Marx Brothers said, “Who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?”

Like a good soap opera, every day Trump presents a new episode, dominating the news cycle.

California and the western states are getting burnt to a cinder, but El Trumpo considers global warming to be a hoax… invented by China!

No, Mr. President, the military doesn’t wish to fight endless wars in order to please the armaments industry. Read my lips: The Pentagon is not manned by war profiteers. Slurs against the military— like your slights against the United States Postal Service— force Americans to choose between loyalty to you, sir, or to the country’s most cherished traditions. Being asked to choose between a Johnny-come-lately like Donald J. Trump and the Pony Express, most people choose the mail carriers of 1860. Americans are proud of their heritage, despite Republican gaslighting to the contrary.

Just as he did in 2016, Trump claims the election is rigged against him, questioning the entire process. Apparently, democratic elections don’t suit him. Afraid that he cannot win fair and square, he’s busy farting around.

Russia is up to its old tricks, attacking the Democrats and trying to tilt the election in Trump’s favor, but Donald J. Trump insists on willfully ignoring foreign meddling.   

Trump even prevaricates over whether he will peacefully leave office, should he fail to win.

Now that’s entertainment! That’s Trump.

You decide!

Desperate to win re-election, Trump hems and haws about a vaccine for the coronavirus, faux predicting a roll-out as soon as… October!!!

An October Surprise, as they call it in presidential elections.

Yeah. Right.

Since the pandemic will lead to record levels of mail-in voting, Trump insists— without proof— that mail-in voting leads to voter fraud. Meanwhile, Melania and he— claiming the Mar-a-Lago Country Club in Florida as their official place of residence— are mailing in their ballots. Talk about cognitive dissonance, even Trump appears confused.

Trump’s newly installed Postmaster General Louis DeJoy seems intent on mucking up the election. He has overseen the removal of mailboxes and the dismantling of sorting machines, even while governors all across the country warn that they may not be able to handle the expected volume of mail-in voting. Is this man purposely crippling the postal system and, if so, on whose order, Mr. President?

Everywhere, Americans fueled by white grievance continue to vent over Obama and the Democrats.

Those white Americans will not vote for Kamala Harris who is part Indian and part black. Interestingly, now that the Republican Party is led by a wild card, the Dems have gone white bread in Joe Biden. We shall see if “Drain the Swamp!” Trumpers are in sufficient pain to cross over and vote for Biden, an Establishment figure.

According to the Trump family members who spoke at the four-day Republican Convention— dutiful sons Don Jr. and Eric, Melania dressed in military garb, daughters Ivanka and Tiffany, plus daughter-in-law Lara Trump— Joe Biden is a socialist Prince of Darkness, a pawn of the radical left who will destroy America’s lily white suburbs by flooding them with low-cost apartment houses!

I shudder at the thought.

But it’s a funny thing, people are tired of the anger and acrimony. The more strident Trump becomes nearing Election Day, the more people tune him out.

The presidency of Donald John Trump is a white American problem. No amount of marching in the streets, protests by Black Lives Matter protesters, night-time demonstrations, riots, looting, vandals or bullsheit news coverage both online and off will decide this election.

White America will decide this election.

Multi-cultural America is suffering growing pains. The entire world is watching as America struggles to decide what kind of country it wants to be.

 

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essay, political satire

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RNC 2020 Convention in Tweets

I grew up adjacent to The 1812 Hwy, a classic sunken road in Oxburg, Maryland left over from the Civil War. At football games, our high school cheerleaders would lead us in a chant: “Push ‘em back, push ‘em back, way-y-y-y-y back!” At the Republican National Convention of 2020, I hear a lot of cheerleading.

Personally, I think Donald J. Trump is a dud. He’s like a faulty Chinese firecracker, fuse sputtering, releasing white smoke and sparks, but zero bang. What he does do, signing Executive Orders, invariably turns into an unmitigated disaster. This reality is a given, just ask the people of Atlantic City, New Jersey. The man is a failed businessman who survived six bankruptcies. “That shows I’m smart,” brays Donald J. Trump.

No, sir. That shows U R an a-hole.

Trump’s tweet storms have ignited the country.

So I wasn’t under any illusions going into the Republican Convention.

I sat watching the Democratic Convention on TV with a feeling of dread, hoping against hope that they would just squeak through without blowing up the candy store. Eureka! They did it. The streets are filled with Black Lives Matter protesters, but the Democrats maintained message discipline. Which was a good thing. It meant fewer gaffes, less cannon fodder for the Republican attack dogs to gnaw on.

I fully ascribe to whatever complaints were leveled at the Democratic National Convention. We are who we are, warts and all. AOC, bless her heart, never got the memo, seconding the nomination of Bernie Sanders at a convention celebrating the selection of Joe Biden to lead the party in November. Yes, there’s a left wing to the Democratic Party, waving copies of Das Kapital by Karl Marx, but I experience that as a good thing. They add leaven to the bread.

We Democrats never said we were perfect.

The Republicans, on the other hand, consider themselves perfect. Donnie only speaks in superlatives: His is the greatest economy in history, he has the largest crowds and best TV ratings, only the very best people work in his administration. Mo’ better. But as Obama explained in his excellent critique leveled at Trump during the DNC Convention, The Donald has never fully engaged in the work. Clueless, he never gets the job done. Instead, El Trumpo spends an inordinate amount of time watching Fox News, tweeting, and speaking at press conferences and rallies, bragging about his accomplishments. If Obama the professor drove us to distraction during his presidency by constantly mansplaining, El Trumpo drives us crazy with his endless bragging. Childish behavior by any other name is still a pain in the butt.

My Tweets

Is that an elephant I hear TRUMPeting in the distance? Welcome to the March of the Dodo Birds.

Donald John Trump tells us climate change is a hoax invented by China, Mexicans are murderers & rapists and there was no Russian interference in the 2016 election. Trump puts children in cages, yet this GOP Convention calls him a hero.

THIS JUST IN: Unconfirmed report that President Trump will address convention on Day Four. In Russian!

Blond, blue-eyed Natalie Harp from California, pretty & compelling, tells us that if not for President Trump, we would all be living in Pottersville. “It’s a Wonderful Life” is a good metaphor, Natalie, but slightly misplaced: No one more closely resembles Mr. Potter than real estate mogul Donald John Trump!

 

NOTE: Listening to Ms. Harp, one is bowled over. As sweet as a Spring morning, she claims she owes her very life to President Trump. His Right-To-Try legislation gave her access to the medicine that defeated her bone cancer. Wow! What can you say to that??? It feels a little suspicious that she is part of Trump’s reelection campaign, but after all, maybe they like each other. Then I read a thread by a medical professional who points out that her treatments took place before RTT was even passed, that the meds Natalie used were already approved by the Food and Drug Administration, that she and The Donald participated together in a previous forum, and that only about 10 people in the whole wide world have in fact been treated under Right-To-Try. Apparently the drug companies want no part of unclinical trials that would leave them open to litigation.

 

These people are salesmen and saleswomen, selling us the Trump brand. Ms. Harp’s ready smile, widening of the eyes and unbridled sincerity is a performance. Ugh! Another snake oil salesperson in the long list of disappointments in the Trump universe.

[ Re the McCloskeys ] What is wrong with this picture? It’ll be a miracle if he doesn’t accidentally shoot his wife. Textbook example of how NOT to handle a firearm.

Don Jr gave an incredible performance: he preached like a televangelist, lectured us about freedom and quoted Thomas Jefferson. Don Jr’s worldview, however, leads to Jim Crow segregation, gun massacres and lynchings. Nostalgia for a bloodstained past. FREEDOM! For white people.

When Don Jr begins quoting Thomas Jefferson at me, I have had enough.

What branch of the military has Melania joined, since she was dressed in olive drab? Smart, the media knew her costume was a provocation and ignored it. But seeing her dressed like that felt like a throwback to Germany in the 1930’s.

(I’m not the only one on Twitter who finds Melania’s garb inappropriate. One tweet declares that her brownshirt uniform was the message. Nicely put.)

If we were curious about what the Trump children are really like, they have done us the favor of introducing themselves. Trust fund babies lecturing the middle class about the omnipotence of their father.

Bring on the clowns!

Where do they get this SOCIALISM straw man? Apparently das Trumf volk really believe they are in a time warp battle against sozialismus. Bernie Sanders & the Gang of Four are radicals but they don’t rule the Democrats. Political opponents are not enemies. It’s called democracy.

Mike Pence, I cannot hear what you are saying because what you are speaks so loudly.

[ Day Three, Pence speech at Ft McHenry, Maryland ] Good speech. Enough with the riots. But why are these young Americans rioting? Perhaps they are fed up with police brutality, racism and President Trump’s abusive taunts. Stop the violence, Mr. Vice President, but offer an alternative. What’s the plan, Mike?

Daughter-in-law Lara Trump describes a wonderful, helpful, kind and generous man, who only wants the best for every American. That’s great! I would be delighted to meet such a person. Unfortunately, that’s not the meanness & venom this country has experienced in the last three and a half years.

You give love a bad name.

If I hear one more person describe Trump as a successful businessman, I am going to hurl. Six bankruptcies, Trump is NOT a successful businessman. He is a con artist salesman posing as a businessman.

The Revenge of the Blondes, after years of being the butt of “dumb blonde” jokes, blond women have been chosen almost exclusively by the Trump Reelection Committee to speak on the president’s behalf. Beware the red dress!

If DJT had any cajones, he would stand up and shout “YES! I am a barroom brawler & proud of it!” Instead, we get his children’s putrid portrait of a lovey-dovey father figure, all sweetness & light. Yuk!

So I ask you: When is Trump finally going to show us his birth certificate?

A vaccine by the New Year? Don’t try to buy milk with that phony $3 bill.

What jungle does that Tarzan reside in?

Dems give “free reign to violent anarchists, agitators and criminals who threaten our citizens” says DJ Trump. Moi? A violent anarchist?

Was this speech transcribed from the original Russian?

I Got Mine

What do all of the speakers have in common? A philosophy of “I got mine!” They are the children of good fortune, but as Maximo Alvarez says, they aren’t going to let anyone take their wealth away from them.

Mark and Patricia McCloskey with their 52-room house (according to Dan Zak in The Washington Post) in St. Louis, Missouri, warn us that if we elect a Democrat as president, there goes the neighborhood! We’ll have anarchy and chaos on our streets, the defunding of police, and the ending of cash bail, so criminals can get out of jail to riot once again.  According to the McCloskeys, the Dems support radicals who want to abolish suburbs altogether! By changing the zoning laws, ending single family home zoning, they’ll bring crime, lawlessness and low-quality apartments into now-thriving suburban neighborhoods. Says Pat McCloskey. Under Democratic rule, they insist, we’ll experience what they did:  An out-of-control mob of radicals roaming the streets of suburbia with bullhorns, screaming “You can’t stop the revolution!”

An apocalyptic vision, to say the least.

The McCloskeys are lawyers. Like Trump, they sue people left, right and center. Mark destroyed beehives adjacent to their property belonging to a religious day school and then threatened the congregation with a restraining order. Scratch the surface and you find a lot of these seemingly attractive people who are giving testimonials turn out to be pretty unpleasant characters. Not kind, not nice, uncivil. Aggressive and egocentric.

Most shocking is that every last speaker at the RNC Convention seems to have drunk the Kool-Aid: Whether black or white, these privileged individuals appear to truly believe that their place in life is at the top of the food chain, that the silver spoon is theirs for the asking, and that hordes of socialist terrorists are preparing to take over this country.

These people are selling us their brand of America, almost a parody, where they are top dog— through hard work, talent, luck, wealth and, in some cases,  family connections— while the rest of us mediocrities slave away in penal servitude to the top 1%, the big capitalists.

It’s true that we political operatives are cynical and view the entire world as performance. During the convention, disturbingly, I keep expecting to see the little red and white box in the lower right hand corner of the screen announcing “As Seen On TV.” Have I stumbled onto a mutant form of campaign coverage as presented by the shopping channel?

WAIT! Trust fund babe Ivanka Trump speaks on behalf of “the people.” She tells us that real estate billionaire Donald J. Trump is “the people’s president.” Are you kiddin’ me? And that hair! Well, at least Ivanka got her dad’s middle initial right. Although it was touch and go there for a second.

Disappointments being what they are, Donald J. Tяump never did address the amerikanskii people in the original Russian. It might have added clarity to his presentation. (Nyet! Yust yoking!)

Vaccine?

You don’t even need to listen to the speech to know that Trump— the endless huckster— will float the idea of a vaccine for Covid-19— AGAIN! This time, maybe, who knows… maybe it’ll even be ready before the New Year. A miraculous vaccine, best in the world. Definitely before the New Year. Maybe.

That is the topic on everyone’s mind, so, of course, that is where he makes the night’s emptiest promises.

Less testing.

Stick our heads in the sand and it’ll disappear. POOF! Like a miracle.

Oh, WAIT! That line didn’t work last time either.

So now the miracle vaccine is somehow linked to reelecting El Trumpo. I mean, the world is working on a cure, we are going to get a vaccine eventually. Meanwhile, we can put Old Donnie the bull artist out to pasture.

Nixon promised that if elected, he had a secret plan to end the Vietnam war.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Trump is going to release his tax statements… real soon!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Don’t misunderstand me, this is standup comedy of the highest order. Listen closely and you’ll realize that Trump is being ironic. He’s yust yoking! There’s no vaccine, he’s purposely mixing positive thinking with voodoo wish fulfillment. He’s being ironic. It’s the South Lawn of the White House, Day Four of the convention, everybody’s tired. Adding a little levity to a somber occasion, The Donald is joking around. Vaccine up yer ass, bubba!

Upon leaving the White House, once outside the fence enclosure, attendees get harassed by a dozen angry young protesters.  Reap the whirlwind. People shout in their faces. We’re in a very sad state of disunion, witnessing the dismantling of America. It’s 9:30 in the morning in the Kremlin. Putin must be pleased. At least the weather is good.

Tяump

 Donald John Trump is methodically dismantling American government and American society. A full-time Russian agent couldn’t do a more thorough job. Intelligence reports indicate that during the 2016 election campaign, the Trump team had contact at least 140 times with Russian nationals and Wikileaks or their intermediaries. Facts on the ground, this is upsetting stuff.

Then there are those disturbing photos of Trump on May 10, 2017 in the Oval Office yukking it up with the Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov  and Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak. Once viewed, those images, provided by the Russian news agency TASS, are hard to forget.

At the 2018 Russia – United States Summit on July 16 in Helsinki, Finland, Trump spoke privately with Vladimir Putin for almost two hours with only a single female interpreter present. We still don’t know what they discussed during those 120 minutes. Dachas? Trump Tower Moskva? Later, at their joint press conference, Trump said Putin denied interfering in the 2016 presidential election and that Trump believed Putin’s denial. This caused an uproar worldwide. The next day, Trump “corrected” his previous statement.

Nobody can sue a sitting president, but a sitting president can sue everybody. No one is immune from prosecution except the president. No one is above the law except the president. You can impeach him, but you cannot find him guilty. Nor can he be removed from office. Such is the law in Tяump’s America. Trump is litigious and nobody wants to get sued, so everyone has kept their mouths shut, leaving America’s democratic way of life hanging by a thread. Dousing the fire with gasoline, on September 27, 2020, the Showtime network will begin airing The Comey Rule, a two-part drama that raises the question whether Donald J. Trump is a Russian asset. Five weeks before the election. Unless there’s an injunction.

 

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essay, political satire

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The Republican National Convention

The GOP, the Grand Old Party—  also known as the Republicans— is holding its convention in Charlotte, North Carolina. Four days, part in person and part online.  A quadrennial event, it’s a real March of the Dodo Birds. Is that a Republican elephant I hear TRUMPeting in the distance?

They have now released the line-up of speakers. Who are these strange people representing the Trump administration?

Also, life moves fast: More than one senior official is suddenly abandoning ship, moseying on, taking things in a different direction, now that the latent smell of defeat begins to inhabit the Trump reelection effort.

Last week, Trump and his surrogates lambasted the Democratic Convention because it emphasized character over policy. “They never presented their program for America,” Trump officials complained to the press on the Sunday morning talk shows. “All they did was attack President Trump.” The prez himself called the DNC convention a dark presentation filled with gloom and doom.

That’s not what I saw! Kamala Harris made a point of valiantly smiling during her speech. Smile, smile! Precisely to counter any accusation that she is an ABF, an Angry Black Woman. Joe Biden made it a point to speak calmly and reasonably about unity in these UNITED STATES of America. He asked us to turn away from the darkness and embrace the light.

When blowhard Strump held his next press conference at the White House, acting as belligerent as ever, the contrast felt striking between the way things once were and what we have now. Wow! Talk about nostalgia.

The Trump people promised that their convention would present an optimistic program for America’s future. Which I and everyone else awaited with baited breath, considering the line-up of speakers. Not many of whom can be called blithe spirits.

Trump himself made a “surprise” visit to the convention center in Charlotte on this first day. He proceeded to give a rambling 50-minute speech, bellyaching about all the same old soap, painting his opponent Joe Biden in myriad putrid colors, lying and exaggerating. The only thing missing was an optimistic program for America’s future! They forgot that one. Well, d’oh.

THIS JUST IN: An unconfirmed report claims that President Trump will speak on Day Four of the convention. In Russian!

(This last joke bombed on Twitter. Like, major blowback. Sorry about that.)

 

Kev

 

Category:

political satire

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Florid-19

From our correspondent

This whole pandemic thing is a joax! That’s halfway between a joke and a hoax. There ain’t no such aminal as Rosie Corona, somebody just took that name from Paul Simon’s “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard.”

Donald Trump is the King of Queens. Think about it. He’s king and he’s from Queens.

This whole pandemic thing is just the Deep State using the mainblame media to defeat Donald Grump’s reelection chances. It’s so obvious! 127,621 deaths my ass! WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES?! See, see! Name 356 of them, I dare you! I want a list of the names, addresses, phone numbers, social security numbers, credit card numbers, the name as listed on the card and the nifty little three-digit security code on the back of each card. Then MAYBE I’ll consider the possibility, but you know, it’s all overblown and exaggerated anyway.

I mean, you don’t REALLY believe PARIS, FRANCE was in lockdown, do you? Come on! I know of at least one brew pub on Rue d’Alsace that would never close down. They stayed open during the Nazi occupation, you really think they’d close for some microscopic microbe? Mosby’s Raiders never cancelled a raid because of some microscopic microbe!

I have been abducted by aliens from another planet. They won’t tell me which, but I keep asking. Currently we are en route over the continental United States traveling from one hot spot to another, mostly in the south and southwest, which also just so happens to be where the corona 19 virus is playing havoc. Many of these states have Republican governors, but you don’t see me linking THE FACT THAT THERE’S A REBUPLICAN GOVERNOR and the, you know, PAMDENIC. Perublican governors. And many of them are good people.

And what about JOE BIDEN???  I don’t see him leading the charge up San Juan Hill. Hunkered down in his underground bunker like, you know, Hetlir and Goebbels and Hiutler’s dog Blondi, a really good dog, but the cyanide got him in the end as it does us all. The cyanide of life, so to speak. When life gives you bitter almonds, suspect cyanide. Biden should be leading this country! Holy shite, what am I saying??? What I mean is, just look at what it would look like if Joe Biden had been president since last January! Just think about it. Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State (again!), Ben Ghazzi as coronavirus czar, Hunter Biden as Secretary of the Treasury and presidential advisor Ivanka Trump as a holdover from the previous administration. I mean, just think about that. I’d be quaking in my undies if I was a microscopic microbe, I can assure you.

Anybody would.

Well, we’re flying over the state of Florida and things don’t look so hot. Oh, wait, now we’re zooming in on the telescreen, and yes, there it is, A PEDESTRIAN WEARING A FACE MASK! See! Lookee there! You seen one, you seen ‘em all. High marks to Governor DeSantis! Way to go, Ron Ron!

Will this op-ed change the course of history? Of course it will! I have bribed a White House cleaning lady to slip a copy into the President’s Daily Brief, the top security PDB that lands on his desk every morning. Although Conchita warns me that I may have wasted my $20, since the president doesn’t always read the darn thing. Damn!

Confederate symbols must be maintained! You can’t defeat a pandemic by tearing down statues! People paid good money to build those memorials. Respect of property is a backbone of capitalism. What do you have otherwise? Anarchy. Leftwing, socialist thugs. Carnage. Oh wait, not carnage, that’s one of Trump’s favorite words. And some of those Confederate generals were good people.

So someone in a golf cart shouted “white powder!” on a video. Big deal! White powder is a skiing term referring to freshly fallen snow. White powder = ideal skiing conditions.

You complain that these salutes to our Confederate past are “a legacy of white domination.” Well, hold on! Under what circumstances would this be all right? I mean, I hope we’re talking a porcelain-skinned, stocky blond dominatrix with piercing blue eyes, dressed in high heels and black leather, carrying a whip and swatting the air with a brown leather riding crop. Dominate me, you bitch!!!

Listen, I liked El Trumpo’s July 4th speech. When Trump says the coronavirus will just disappear, people, he’s being sarcastic! Cripes! Don’t you get it? HE’S JOKING!!! Disappear, disappear. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It’s a joke! Get a sense of humor, White House press corps! Jeez sleaze.

I am not White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany, it is not my job to defend the president’s racially insensitive outbursts. I just suspect that sometimes the prez— just like the rest of us—occasionally has a bad day. He tweets stuff in order to vent. To get things off his chest. To put stuff behind him. Nixon had his Dictabelt machine. Trump has Twitter. Same difference.

Spread love! This country will be a better place for it. Paying for love is, unfortunately, also a reality, but the unpaid kind is a lot better.

Peace!

Stärker Daniel, Sollentuna

 

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political satire

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Maryland, Oh Maryland

Here’s the deal. The Maryland state song, “Maryland, My Maryland,” is a relic of the Civil War. Written in 1861 by Baltimore native and Confederate sympathizer James Ryder Randall, the song lyrics urge Marylanders to secede from the Union, join the Confederacy and battle the “Northern scum.”

For over 40 years, politicians in Annapolis have tried to abolish or replace “Maryland, My Maryland.” With the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis and subsequent national protests, the Maryland legislature is once again considering scrapping the song.

As a patriotic Son of Maryland, I hereby submit my easy-peasy substitution, harking back to the original, but also aware of the modern times in which we live.

 

*************** Maryland, Oh Maryland **************

 

You, our Southern belle of fun

Maryland!

Giggle in our midst a ton

Maryland!

Even under the midday sun

Your blue-eyed glance doth stun

Every single son of a gun

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Our battle flag held aloft so sure

Maryland!

Swift of stirrup, free of burr

Maryland!

A champion so sleek and pure

She causes our dear hearts to stir

And all the horsemen knew her

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Lest our past become a chore

Maryland!

And epic tales be heard no more

Maryland!

Of Grant and Lee, such a bore

How uncivil was the war

That shook the nation to its core

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

Slave state, free state, pick a side

Maryland!

Poe came to Balto but he died

Maryland!

Not from lynching but a long sad slide

A maudlin drunk he was quite pie-eyed

And after his death many people lied

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

For you, young souls are pining

Maryland!

We see you smile, blond tresses shining

Maryland!

Every cloud has a silver lining

’Though Confederate statues leave us whining

And don’t forget to kiss my heinie

Maryland! Oh Maryland!

 

 

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humor, parody, political satire

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Finally a chart buster!

“Back in the Pandemic.” 4:36. Recorded live in the studio by the Swedish duo realPfft with a guest guitarist, a guest drummer and a guest producer. Also, an audio engineer with issues. This is take 9 of 16 takes recorded over a three day period. By the last take, all the noisy blemishes had been cleaned up, the impossible guitar had been tamed and the Chinese gong no longer blew the walls out. Unfortunately, the song was no longer any fun.

Boring.

Despite the coronavirus, realPfft’s business manager was visiting from the States. He had gotten a good price on his plane ticket. Now he was unhappy and he said as much. Insisting on his right to listen to all sixteen takes, he came to take number 9 and said, “There it is. That’s the song! What have you been doing the last day and a half?”

Bands have broken up over less, but these are all Swedes and they like one another. Agreeing that take 9 needed more treble, that’s all they added, leaving everything else alone. Unrefined. With a nod to the Beatles, a punk rock sense of rebellion and singer Clive Flatenbad channeling Joy Division, here is realPfft’s “Back in the Pandemic.”

Cover photo from singer Clive Flatenbad’s archive. Club Ultra, Handen, Sweden.

Best regards!

Kev

Category:

Notification, political satire

Covid-19 in song???

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any bleaker, Swedish rap duo realPfft consoles us with the song “Covid-19.” (I get 3% on the dollar.) Available at YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, Amazon & the usual suspects.

 

 

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political satire

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