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Posts tagged ‘Putin’

Pasta fazoola!  

Happy Columbus Day!

Growing up, when things went sideways on the soccer field or in the house, we bitched. “Pasta fazoola,” we swore, meaning “everything is all messed up.” America in the 1960’s, even Polish-Russian-Swedish brats like us luxuriated in this fake molto italiano expression. 

After two days and nights— 48 hours— of rain, the sun has returned and everything is slowly drying out.

Pasta fazoola!  

Here in Oxburg, Maryland, I am sharing my two-story house with an insect, a hussyrsa in Swedish, a house cricket, which is all right when it’s in the basement, but I don’t like it in my kitchen where I am eating.

Pasta fazoola!

Trash collection in our neighborhood is on Mondays, whether it’s Indigenous Peoples’ Day or not. Of the two black plastic garbage bags, the trashmen have taken one and left the other. Half the garbage is still in the can, where it will sit and rot for a week until, hopefully, the truck collects it next Monday.

Pasta fazoola!

Normally, I would telephone and complain, but the last time I did that, behold, the company got pissed off enough to change the collection time curbside from 8 a.m. to 5 a.m. They now collect the garbage at five o’clock in the morning!

P-P-Pasta fazoooola!

Pasta fazool is the same dish as pasta e fagioli, which translates literally to “pasta and beans.” Popular in southern Italy, in Naples dialect it is called pasta e fasule.

Presto! Pasta fazoola!

While pasta e fagioli is served as a brothy, rustic soup, Italian-American pasta fazool is a thicker, marinara style stew.

Yummy! As we used to say, “Good at half the price.”

Kids. Go figure.

Mutte Fjutt in Uppsala, Sweden is going to telephone the ICA grocery store chain and complain that the cooking time for pasta is always included on the package in teeny-tiny print. “Why is cooking time in the smallest print on the box?” he gripes over Microsoft Teams, wearing a snazzy sportscoat and looking terrific. “Why do Putin and Trump make war when something truly importante like the cooking time for pasta is practically kept top secret?”

I love De Cecco, but when Mutte is right, he is right.

We feel this course correction in human evolution will render Mutte eligible for the Nobel Prize in Literature.

As an online influencer, I should be able to nominate Mutte for this award. Otherwise, pasta fazoola! 

Not Nyet (Kevinski Mix)

The Music

The Swedish rap band realPfft recorded Not Nyet under dire circumstances. Fruit loops musical genius Mutte Fjutt in Uppsala, Sweden was in an antibiotic-induced fog. Acting as the band’s manager and music publisher, I was sick here in the States. No one told Kuny, who does the cover art, what we wanted.

When I heard the wav file of Not Nyet, I was deeply troubled. Still, we released it on January 12, 2023, simply to get it out there. The war in Ukraine was raging and I was feeling the pressure. An anti-war protest, the track’s musical genre is Russian hard rock. The problem is that it sounds like an East German mix from the DDR era, the vocal up front and the music way in the background. “Please remix,” I said.

Thus was born Not Nyet (Kevinski Mix), with me being “Kevinski.”

On the cover, it says Miks Kevinski in Cyrillic letters. My name “Kevin” is accentuated in blue.

The release date of Not Nyet (Kevinski Mix) is February 20, 2023.

The Lyrics

Here, there, Russian soldier everywhere!

Putin say Ukraina as a country does not exist

Tired of Sochi, Putin chooses beach resort in Odessa

Is no war, is “special military operation”  

When Russian troop amass on border with Ukraine, what did western leaders think was gonna happen?

Secretary General of Communist Party Nikita Krushchev, Leonid Brezhnev and Constantin Chernenko all came from Ukraina

40-mile Russian convoy get stuck in Ukrainian mud

War is not rock & roll                                              

Volodymyr Zelensky is first world leader outside Israel who is Jewish

Zelensky become big war hero, fighting both Russians and his own demons

When Russian warship Moskva tell defenders of Snake Island they should surrender, they say “Russian warship, go fock yourself!”  

Z for Zero

I hear your balalaikas screaming like Tupolev Badger 

Russian soldier commit big massacre in Bucha

Butcher of Bucha is Russian General no one has ever heard of 

4,000 Amerikanskii volunteer join International Legion but most don’t speak Ukrainian

This war is very boring!

Russian babes on TikTok call Zelensky a crazy Jewish oligarch 

QAnon conspiracy theory say Russia invaded Ukraine to stop top secret bioweapon laboratory set up by Biden medical adviser Anthony Fauci

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson twice visit Kyiv

Russian cosmonauts arrive at International Space Station wearing yellow and blue suits, but they insist they are not supporting Ukraine 

Ukrainians use Neptune cruise missile to destroy Russian warship Moskva 

Zelensky award Amerikanskii politician Nancy Pelosi with famous Ukrainian Order of Olga

 War is not rock & roll

After Ukrainian attack on Crimea airfield, Russian tourists cause big traffic jam fleeing beaches in Crimea

Ukrainians use wooden decoy of HIMARS artillery rocket to panic Russians into firing Kalibr cruise missile

Putin threaten to turn off natural gas pipeline to Western Europe

Kissoffka!     

Facing counter-offensive, Russian desert battlefield on Ukrainian bicycle

He is called “the late Vladimir Putin” because he never come to meeting on time

We use Iranian drone Shahed-136 to drop stinky bomb on enemy

realPfft play Russian synthesizer brand Polyvoks

This war is very boring!

Elite unit 200th Separate Motor Rifle Brigade from Murmansk get ass kicked in Kharkov. Many T-80 BVM tanks destroyed or captured. This very bad

Putin mobilizes 300,000 men to go fight in the Ukraine

Ukraine make heartbreaking video for Eurovision Song Contest

Russian officer corps calls this “holy war.” Patriarch Kirill of Russian Orthodox Church describe Ukraine as the Antichrist

Putin calls the people in Kiev Nazis

Eight million Ukrainians seek refuge in the West

Zelensky wear combat boots when he speak to American Congress

This no Nutcracker Suite!  

In Moskva, patriotic Russian women sew camouflage net to help in war effort. So-called “knitting battalions” make thick socks to fight winter cold

When ammunition dump explodes, we say this is because someone is smoking cigarette

We fight enemy in Kiev, so we no need to fight them in Moskva

Not all news is bad. We use Sovtek guitar effect box Big Muff

Workers of the world, unite!

Maybe Putin annex Ukraina, but not nyet

Not nyet

The Video

Rap artist Clive Flatenbad channels his inner Russian amidst the tragic war in Ukraine.

Not Nyet video – https://youtu.be/UZe4aUaWT6Y